1
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,459
[no audible dialogue]

2
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:41,200
[no audible dialogue]

3
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:16,301
Claudine Longet: ♪ The lady
thinks he's in love ♪

4
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,838
♪ But she's not sure
he's in love ♪

5
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:23,442
♪ So there's a flea
in her ear ♪

6
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,144
♪ A bee in her bonnet ♪

7
00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,880
♪ And a tear in her eye ♪

8
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:31,717
♪ Because he's not
what he seems ♪

9
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,387
♪ The lady plots,
and she schemes ♪

10
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:38,590
♪ So there's a flea
in her ear ♪

11
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,359
♪ A bee in her bonnet ♪

12
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:43,061
♪ And her cares multiply ♪

13
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:52,070
♪ The question now is
shall she go or stay ♪

14
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:55,574
♪ Who's to say? ♪

15
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:58,710
♪ Will love find a way? ♪

16
00:02:58,746 --> 00:03:03,949
♪ The lady hopes
he's in love ♪

17
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:07,853
♪ But if he's really in love ♪

18
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,755
♪ His love he'll prove ♪

19
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:15,327
♪ And he'll remove
every fear ♪

20
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,630
♪ The busy bee in her bonnet ♪

21
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:22,868
♪ The flea in her ear ♪

22
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,918
Oh, Gabrielle, darling,

23
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,254
it's so wonderful to be back.

24
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:44,089
What's that thing for?

25
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:46,225
It's not for anything.
It's the Eiffel Tower.

26
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,394
Oh. After all those years
in the Argentine,

27
00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,830
one does miss
life's little luxuries.

28
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,236
Oh.

29
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,006
Do they all have lovers now?

30
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,174
Who?

31
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,676
All the women in Paris.

32
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,578
Oh, pretty nearly all.

33
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,381
Have you, darling?

34
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,284
Well, I can tell you, Suzanne,

35
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,418
as you're my bosom friend.

36
00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:16,688
I've got someone
who's almost my lover.

37
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,691
[gasp]
Oh, good heavens.

38
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,695
Ah.

39
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,497
Hello, Henri.

40
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,500
[no audible dialogue]

41
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,469
Whoever's that?

42
00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:33,505
The is the man
who's almost my lover.

43
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,475
Henri Tournel, to name no names.

44
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,010
You really mean that...

45
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:42,247
Sometimes I turn him over
in my mind.

46
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,282
I knew it.

47
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,717
You were so lively at the convent.

48
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:47,419
I knew you'd have a romantic future

49
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,021
full of lovers, duels,

50
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,223
crying your heart out in Venice.

51
00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,525
I couldn't believe it
when you wrote and told me

52
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:54,693
that you'd sunk into marriage

53
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,328
with a respectable barrister.

54
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:58,463
And I couldn't believe it

55
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,598
when you wrote and told me

56
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,932
that you'd been snatched up

57
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,534
by a smoldering
South American millionaire.

58
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:03,835
Why ever not?

59
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:06,505
Because you were always
so quiet at the convent.

60
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:12,311
I am proud to be a Frenchman,
members of the jury.

61
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:14,446
And as Frenchmen, we can understand

62
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,682
the terrible unhappiness
of this young bride

63
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,116
as she sat at home

64
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,886
while her wretched husband
indulged in furtive meetings

65
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:23,322
in third class hotels
in the Gare du Nord.

66
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:34,099
Your Uncle Victor's
in splendid form
today, Pierre.

67
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,100
Oh.

68
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:37,202
[speaking incomprehensibly]

69
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,537
Pardon me?

70
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,909
But what is the suggestion
of the opposition?

71
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,310
That she plunged a knife

72
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:47,512
into her husband's faithless heart?

73
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,214
No.

74
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,116
That she shot him with
his old service rifle?

75
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,117
No.

76
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,086
My ingenious friend suggests

77
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:57,055
this young, innocent girl
relied as a murder weapon

78
00:05:57,091 --> 00:06:00,025
solely on a large
plateful of snails.

79
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,728
Members of the jury,
would you believe

80
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,296
that a true daughter of France

81
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:07,232
could ruin the flavor of one
of our great national dishes

82
00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:09,401
by so much as a grain of arsenic?

83
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,737
[muttering]

84
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,376
Come on, Pierre. I'm going
to be late for the opera.

85
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:18,844
Another triumph, Chandebisse.

86
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,245
- Thank you.
- Congratulations, Chandebisse.

87
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,747
- Thank you.
- Brilliant defense, sir.

88
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:23,882
[garbled] You were
absolutely wonderful,
Uncle Victor.

89
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,118
Thank you, my boy. She was
either a brilliant murderess

90
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,486
or an absolutely ghastly cook.

91
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,287
- Good win, Chandebisse.
- Thank you.

92
00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:30,989
You've met my nephew
Pierre Chandebisse.

93
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,224
No.

94
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:34,993
Going to be a brilliant
barrister, my boy,

95
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,595
- like your uncle?
- Oh, yes.

96
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:40,365
[garbled]
There's only one thing
stopping me, however.

97
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,467
Lovely weather. Yes.
Quite so.

98
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,770
He said there was
only one thing
stopping him, however.

99
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,538
Really? What's that?

100
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,475
[whispering]
He has no roof to his mouth.

101
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,210
We hope to do something about it.

102
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,245
Ah?

103
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:55,781
Goodbye.

104
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,164
Here we are.

105
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,199
Would you mind waiting
a minute, please?

106
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:15,367
Will you and Don Carlos

107
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:17,803
be coming to the opera tonight?

108
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,104
Of course.

109
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:23,375
Oh, good. Everyone we know
in Paris will be there.

110
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,476
[giggling]

111
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:32,284
Dare we say gorgeous?

112
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,853
Quite irresistible.

113
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,590
Irresistible.

114
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,794
Well, that's what's needed,
to say the least.

115
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,763
Now, I want it to be a surprise.

116
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,331
Please have it sent 'round.

117
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,599
Today, Madame?

118
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,234
Yes, certainly today without fail.

119
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,069
It's extremely urgent.

120
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,404
Of course, Madame.

121
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,006
I understand perfectly.

122
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,142
Have this delivered
to Madame Chandebisse,

123
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,244
3 Rue Vandrezanne, this afternoon

124
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:02,080
as a matter of extreme urgency.

125
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,315
Thank you.

126
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,522
Exactly what I want.

127
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:13,058
Oh, but, darling,
it's extremely unattractive,

128
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,993
not to say discouraging.

129
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,728
- Discouraging?
- Yes.

130
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:17,963
I'll take it.

131
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:21,066
Gray flannel.
Very nasty.

132
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,669
You need something
discouraging in my position.

133
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,871
I don't know what you mean.

134
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,973
Your husband's not an insatiable...

135
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,407
What?

136
00:08:29,443 --> 00:08:31,676
An insatiable South American.

137
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,881
That's true.

138
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,749
My husband's not...

139
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,585
South American...

140
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:42,754
at all.

141
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:43,955
Oh.

142
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,706
Thank you.

143
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,076
Ah. Clement.

144
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,881
M. Tournel has just
arrived, monsieur.

145
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,416
He's waiting for Madame
in the drawing room.

146
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,951
Thank you, Charles.
I'll go up.

147
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,954
Uh, put the papers
in the study, my boy.

148
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,022
Psst!

149
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,593
Give me a kiss.

150
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,965
- Antoinette.
- Your husband.

151
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,600
[gasp]

152
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:30,368
Are you in pain, monsieur?

153
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,571
[garbled] Uh, just some
rheumatism, Charles.

154
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:33,872
Come along, my girl.

155
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,740
You should
be helping Madame
dress for the opera.

156
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:38,176
Sorry. I was held up.

157
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,711
Hello, Henri.

158
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:42,681
Victor.

159
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,316
You look like a bride or something.

160
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,151
I bought a few flowers
for Gabrielle.

161
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,886
- For who?
- Your wife.

162
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,287
Oh, my wife. You know,

163
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,956
I've been working
so hard this last month

164
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,324
that I've hardly had time
to look at Gabrielle.

165
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,558
Oh, that's all right, old fellow.

166
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,126
That's all right.
I've looked at her for you...

167
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,628
just from time to time, of course.

168
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,296
Oh, extremely kind of you.
She's all right, isn't she?

169
00:09:58,332 --> 00:09:59,564
Oh, perfectly wonderful.

170
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,533
It's very nice of you
to keep an eye on her.

171
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,268
I was only doing my duty
as her friend.

172
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,736
- Of course, my friend.
- And as such,

173
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,838
it's naturally my place
to keep an eye on Gabrielle.

174
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,506
Of course. Well,
I must go and change.

175
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:10,475
Otherwise, we'll
be late for the opera.

176
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,117
♪ [singing in German]

177
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,488
♪ [continue]

178
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,074
I believe you dropped this, Madame.

179
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,375
This is my wife.

180
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,377
Ah. Delighted to meet you.

181
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:20,845
Don't touch her.

182
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,247
- Shh!
- Shh!

183
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,567
What are you wearing
those braces for?

184
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,470
To keep my trousers up.

185
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,839
I mean, those are
your daytime braces.

186
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,275
What about your beautiful
red embroidered evening ones,

187
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,643
the ones I gave you for Christmas?

188
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,045
Nobody sees your braces
at the opera.

189
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,457
Victor.

190
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,462
Well?

191
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,297
Do you like it or not?

192
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,500
My goodness. Of course.

193
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,773
Well, uh, let's get some sleep.

194
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:22,774
Some what?

195
00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:24,209
Well, I had a very hard day,

196
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,343
and then the opera.

197
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,247
What have you done with your
evening braces anyway?

198
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,449
Uh, what? Oh,
they've disappeared
for the time being.

199
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:32,751
They'll turn up somewhere.

200
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,853
A person must be
remarkably careless

201
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,287
to lose his braces.

202
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:48,433
Victor Emanuel.

203
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,467
Hmm?

204
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,670
Haven't you forgotten something?

205
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,406
Uh, what?

206
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,176
Victor,

207
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,345
most wives don't even have to ask.

208
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:04,449
Oh, that. I was rather
hoping you'd do it for me.

209
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,251
Victor!

210
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,653
Oh, all right. I suppose
I can do it for myself.

211
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,734
That better?

212
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,544
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

213
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:34,646
Sign here.

214
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:38,650
Thank you.

215
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,788
What's that, Charles?

216
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,123
Good morning, Madame.

217
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,591
It's just arrived by post.

218
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:47,692
- Oh.
- For the master.

219
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,860
Oh. I'll take it.

220
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,062
M. Chandebisse,
from somewhere

221
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:53,698
in Montretout.

222
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:56,868
It's all right, Charles.
You can go.

223
00:13:58,505 --> 00:13:59,604
[rattling]

224
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,882
My husband's braces.

225
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,251
He must have left them somewhere,

226
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,654
and it wasn't the Christian
Science Reading Room.

227
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:22,961
Hotel Coq d'Or.

228
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:26,831
Oh.

229
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,233
Do you know the Hotel Coq d'Or?

230
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,334
Take me there at once.

231
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:30,401
The Hotel Coq d'Or?

232
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,303
Isn't it a bit early in the day?

233
00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,205
Well, it's extremely urgent.

234
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,242
An enthusiast.

235
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,743
- [honk]
- [honk]

236
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:03,902
[laughing]

237
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,284
Come on now, Eugenie,
[speaking French]

238
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:21,219
- Jump to it.
- Not when you're a hotel

239
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,588
where the bed's got to be
changed quite so often.

240
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,923
What are you suggesting?

241
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,658
- Oh, nothing.
- I'll have you know

242
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,726
this is a respectable family hotel.

243
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,595
Husbands and wives come here.

244
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,697
But not at the same time.

245
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:36,234
My God, if I had that girl
under me in the regiment,

246
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,269
I'd make her jump about a bit.

247
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,338
[bell rings, door closes]

248
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,473
We're hardly open yet, Madame.

249
00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:44,943
But of course if this is
the only hour of the day

250
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,911
Madame's gentleman can
get away to meet Madame...

251
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,479
I merely wish to make an inquiry.

252
00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,648
About a reservation
for a little<i> recreant?</i>

253
00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:53,551
Most of our patrons
find the afternoon
more sympathetic.

254
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,187
About a visit here
by M. Chandebisse.

255
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,488
Madame's gentleman.

256
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,756
No, he is not my gentleman.

257
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,793
He's my... Whatever he is,

258
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,728
has he ever stayed at this hotel?

259
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,563
Ah.

260
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:07,131
Madame's the careful sort.

261
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,266
Careful?

262
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,968
Testing me out, Madame,
isn't Madame?

263
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,269
I don't know what you mean.

264
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,837
Making sure of our
tact and discretion.

265
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:15,606
You know if I was to give away
the names of our customers,

266
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,475
you'd be the first
never to come here again.

267
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,843
I know he was here.

268
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,878
Our lips are sealed.

269
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,513
Look at that, then.

270
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:25,450
Beautiful workmanship.

271
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,485
Very tasteful.

272
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:31,723
They must come from a very
lovely pair of trousers.

273
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,258
You know perfectly well
where they came from.

274
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,394
But I've told you, Madame,
our lips are sealed.

275
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,595
I'll find out.

276
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,263
I'll find out, I promise you.

277
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,766
I know you men stick together,

278
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,834
shut up like clams.

279
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,035
But let me tell you,

280
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,703
you haven't heard the last of this.

281
00:16:45,739 --> 00:16:48,339
Madame, will you be
back this afternoon?

282
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,208
Madame shall have our best room.

283
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,578
The bed's extremely comfortable.

284
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,114
I don't want anything
to do with the bed!

285
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,149
[bell rings, door slams]

286
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,751
A pervert.

287
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,130
Charles: M. Pierre?

288
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:18,202
Dr. Finache
to see you, M. Pierre.

289
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,337
[garbled] See me?

290
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,239
Yes, it's you I'm
looking for, Pierre.

291
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:24,042
I was told your uncle
didn't take you
to court today.

292
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:26,144
[speaking incomprehensibly]

293
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,417
H-he thought a case
of rape

294
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,584
might be a bit embarrassing

295
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,053
for a chap like you?

296
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,321
Your respected uncle
doesn't know much
about you, does he?

297
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,790
No.

298
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,658
Been to the Hotel
Coq d'Or recently?

299
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,093
Shh! Doctor, please.

300
00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:43,561
Oh, I forgot.
You're supposed to be

301
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,296
the virginal young nephew.

302
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:47,532
Yes, we doctors are always catching

303
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,668
little plaster saints
with their trousers down,

304
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,570
but, uh...

305
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,373
isn't it the most convenient hotel?

306
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,042
[speaking incomprehensibly]

307
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,310
I brought you something.

308
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,411
What?

309
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,415
A silver roof for your mouth.

310
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,250
At least you'll sound
like a human being.

311
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,652
[garbled] It's for me?

312
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,654
Yes, I've brought you
a sounding board,

313
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,022
- solid silver.
- Oh.

314
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,524
If you're ever hard up,
you can pawn your palate.

315
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,692
[door opens]

316
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,427
Victor:
Oh, not yet.

317
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,464
Shouldn't he wash it first?

318
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,798
We don't know where it's been.

319
00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,567
Your uncle's right, of course.

320
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,602
We'll soak it in boracic.

321
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:27,238
You should be grateful
to your Uncle Victor.

322
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,240
He asked me to make you
that little construction.

323
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,675
[garbled] Oh, thank you,
Uncle Victor.

324
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,777
Dear boy, I knew
you were missing something.

325
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,045
You can become a famous lawyer

326
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,413
without knowing very
much about the law,

327
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,714
but you do need some consonants.

328
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,052
- Doctor.
- Hmm?

329
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,488
[whispering] I'd, uh,
like a word with you.

330
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,428
It was a short case of rape today.

331
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,762
The courts finished early.

332
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,499
I wondered, uh, could you
manage lunch at the club?

333
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,033
I'd be delighted.

334
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:58,202
I'd like your professional opinion.

335
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:02,373
It's, uh, about my wife.

336
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,315
[speaking incomprehensibly]

337
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:34,572
Gabrielle.

338
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,040
Gabrielle, I have to talk to you.

339
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,241
Now, you know what you promised.

340
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,944
Really, M. Tournel,
I am much too busy now.

341
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:42,046
"This spring," you said,
"I shall take a lover."

342
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,681
As your husband's best friend,

343
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,149
who else could it be but me?

344
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:46,484
That sort of talk's all very well

345
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:47,785
when your husband's been faithful,

346
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,253
but when he's being
unfaithful, it's impossible.

347
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,421
But, Gabrielle, you promised.

348
00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,889
That was when he had his braces.

349
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:54,525
Now I have his braces,
and, oh, goodbye.

350
00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,163
Braces?

351
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,265
What does she want
to do with braces?

352
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:06,404
I'd say suspicious,
but not absolute proof.

353
00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,406
Yes, but, Suzanne,
what would you say

354
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,308
if your husband,
after having been a husband,

355
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:11,609
and what a husband,

356
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:12,710
suddenly stopped?

357
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,645
I'd say "Thank God."

358
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:15,846
Is that what you'd say?

359
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,481
You'd say "Thank God?"

360
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,584
Well, that's what
you say you'd say.

361
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:22,920
But when a husband's been
a raging torrent for years

362
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:26,457
and then suddenly phfft...
nothing.

363
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:29,760
Oh. Spain's full
of dried-up old rivers,

364
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,495
but they're still
in the same old beds.

365
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:35,900
Hmm. All the same, no.
There must be someone else.

366
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,636
And you have got
to help me find out.

367
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:41,973
After all, weren't you my
bosom friend in the convent?

368
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,374
Tell me what to do.

369
00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,276
Well, now, let's see.

370
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:46,777
Why not go to Victor Emanuel?

371
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:47,878
Have it out with him.

372
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,814
No, Suzanne.
He'd only lie to me.

373
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,649
I thought you'd think
of something marvelous,

374
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,284
with your touch of genius.

375
00:20:53,319 --> 00:20:56,454
Yes. I have got that,
thank God.

376
00:20:56,489 --> 00:21:00,124
Listen. There's one trick
I've seen in plays.

377
00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,359
What? Tell me.

378
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:02,827
It's...
It's pretty loathsome.

379
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,328
I mean, I'd only do it to a man.

380
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:05,930
- Oh.
- But you take a sheet

381
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,632
of highly perfumed writing paper,

382
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,767
and on it
you write a burning,
passionate letter.

383
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:10,768
Yes?

384
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:11,802
To your husband.

385
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:12,903
Oh.

386
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,672
As if it came from another woman.

387
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,074
And you end up by
arranging a meeting.

388
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,376
A meeting?

389
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:19,977
Which you go to, naturally.

390
00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:21,812
And when he comes to meet you,

391
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,347
you've got him.

392
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:26,250
[gasp] Of course.
You're right.

393
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:27,952
It is rather loathsome,

394
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,820
but the old-fashioned ways
are the best.

395
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:30,988
We'll do it now.

396
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:32,256
Good.

397
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,958
He might recognize my handwriting.

398
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,226
If you've written to him before.

399
00:21:35,261 --> 00:21:37,028
But he doesn't know yours.

400
00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,629
You're going to write it.
Waiter.

401
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:39,830
I couldn't possibly do it.

402
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,399
Oh...

403
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,267
for your bosom chum?

404
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,803
All right.

405
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:50,141
Now, what sort of writing
paper do we need?

406
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:52,176
Uh... cheap.

407
00:21:52,211 --> 00:21:54,312
I should say pink.

408
00:21:54,347 --> 00:21:56,247
Lascivious and suggestive.

409
00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:57,682
How about mauve?

410
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,116
Mauve would be perfect.

411
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:00,384
Some sheets of mauve

412
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,386
lascivious and suggestive
writing paper, please.

413
00:22:02,422 --> 00:22:05,222
It ought to be drenched
in a rather nasty perfume.

414
00:22:05,258 --> 00:22:07,425
And a bottle of rather
nasty perfume.

415
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:09,260
And, uh, to eat, Madame?

416
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,362
Oh, I couldn't eat anything.

417
00:22:30,049 --> 00:22:31,415
Dear sir,

418
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,251
having noticed you the other day

419
00:22:34,287 --> 00:22:37,355
at your box at the races...

420
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,857
Isn't that rather formal
for love at first sight?

421
00:22:39,892 --> 00:22:41,225
- Formal?
- Well, yes.

422
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,527
It sounds as if you wanted
to serve a writ on him.

423
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:46,664
I think it should be hot,
yearning, and rather simple.

424
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,699
- Start writing again.
- All right.

425
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:50,968
Uh...

426
00:22:51,003 --> 00:22:53,604
Dear M. Chandebisse.

427
00:22:53,639 --> 00:22:55,039
Mm-hmm.

428
00:22:55,074 --> 00:22:58,275
I am the girl

429
00:22:58,311 --> 00:23:01,312
who couldn't take her eyes off you

430
00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:04,014
last week at the races.

431
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,984
You see?
Hot, yearning, and simple.

432
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:09,987
[giggling] You're really
living the part, aren't you?

433
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:15,926
You were there with your wife
and another man.

434
00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:20,998
Since then, you're all I dream of.

435
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:24,235
I dream... Oh, isn't that
going a little too far?

436
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:26,537
Girls like that always go too far.

437
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:29,240
I am ready to commit a folly.

438
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,878
Will you join me?

439
00:23:35,248 --> 00:23:36,714
Join me? Yes?

440
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:39,617
I'll be waiting for you today.

441
00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:40,618
[pen scratching]

442
00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:41,719
Today.

443
00:23:43,790 --> 00:23:51,128
5:00 at the Hotel
Coq d'Or.

444
00:23:51,164 --> 00:23:53,030
Uh...

445
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:57,968
the room will be booked in
the name of M. Chandebisse.

446
00:23:59,372 --> 00:24:01,472
The same hotel?

447
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:02,973
Won't he be suspicious?

448
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:06,010
Ha ha. He'll be stimulated
beyond endurance.

449
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:09,380
Just, uh, douse it
in that nasty perfume.

450
00:24:11,117 --> 00:24:12,082
[gasp]

451
00:24:12,118 --> 00:24:14,552
Oh. Blotched.

452
00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:17,188
- What a shame.
- Yes.

453
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,856
You have to do it again.

454
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:21,659
Not at all.

455
00:24:21,694 --> 00:24:24,695
That blotch will
come in very useful.

456
00:24:24,730 --> 00:24:28,299
Why can't I stop crying
when I write to you?

457
00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:32,269
You're brilliant.

458
00:24:34,774 --> 00:24:36,941
Look out, Victor Emanuel.

459
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,310
The Day of Judgment is at hand.

460
00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:40,377
[giggling]

461
00:24:46,686 --> 00:24:48,919
You wanted to consult me
about your wife?

462
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:53,824
Uh, yes. Well, as you know,

463
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,926
Gabrielle is an extremely
attractive woman.

464
00:24:55,962 --> 00:24:57,094
I do indeed.

465
00:24:57,129 --> 00:24:58,596
- [balls clink]
- Damn.

466
00:24:58,631 --> 00:24:59,930
Since we've been married,

467
00:24:59,966 --> 00:25:01,532
I haven't really been in love
with anybody else.

468
00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:03,200
Ah.

469
00:25:03,236 --> 00:25:04,368
What do you mean, ah?

470
00:25:04,403 --> 00:25:05,536
Oh, nothing at all.

471
00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:06,804
Quite honestly, I couldn't possibly

472
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:07,805
be a better husband.

473
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,973
Aha.

474
00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,641
What do you keep on
saying "Aha" for?

475
00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,409
I really don't know.

476
00:25:12,445 --> 00:25:15,980
What's the, uh,
opposite of oysters?

477
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,281
You mean as fish?

478
00:25:17,316 --> 00:25:18,415
No, as promoting love.

479
00:25:18,451 --> 00:25:20,384
I mean oysters,
the can-can,

480
00:25:20,419 --> 00:25:21,552
celery, spinach...

481
00:25:21,587 --> 00:25:23,420
they all promote love
in a medical sense.

482
00:25:23,456 --> 00:25:25,089
But, uh...

483
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:28,692
what, uh, what kills it dead?

484
00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:33,063
I suppose thick woolen stockings,

485
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:34,532
cabbage soup, and, uh...

486
00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:37,935
working out your taxes.

487
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:39,870
There's one thing you've forgotten.

488
00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:41,005
What's that?

489
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,773
The ninth wedding anniversary.

490
00:25:43,910 --> 00:25:45,910
We've just celebrated ours.

491
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,411
Congratulations.

492
00:25:47,446 --> 00:25:49,079
It's suddenly happened.

493
00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:51,882
Gabrielle said, "We've lived
through the last nine years.

494
00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,584
Now we're going to be
together forever."

495
00:25:53,619 --> 00:25:55,753
When she said that, it was, uh...

496
00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:57,421
The opposite of oysters?

497
00:25:57,456 --> 00:26:00,591
Exactly. You know what I've
always enjoyed about love?

498
00:26:00,626 --> 00:26:02,726
The fact that it can
never last forever.

499
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,962
Those six months

500
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:06,230
with the belle Maxine,

501
00:26:06,265 --> 00:26:08,732
that summer with Luciana Gautier,

502
00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:10,100
those Thursday afternoons

503
00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:11,802
with the Duchesse d'Antibes.

504
00:26:11,837 --> 00:26:13,604
And with Gabrielle,

505
00:26:13,639 --> 00:26:16,440
every years was like
another love affair.

506
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:24,248
Until she said
"Now we're going to be
together forever."

507
00:26:24,283 --> 00:26:26,984
And then... Ooh!

508
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,219
It put you off your stroke.

509
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:30,754
I'm afraid completely,

510
00:26:30,790 --> 00:26:32,656
and we haven't made a break since.

511
00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:40,030
Now, every time Gabrielle
expresses herself willing,

512
00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:41,465
I remember what she said.

513
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:44,368
Why... Why not pretend
you might part one day?

514
00:26:44,403 --> 00:26:45,536
Then you'll feel better.

515
00:26:45,571 --> 00:26:48,072
How can I? I adore Gabrielle,
and she adores me.

516
00:26:48,107 --> 00:26:50,140
I'm afraid we'll finish up
in a couple of wheelchairs

517
00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:51,609
being pushed down
the promenade at Nice,

518
00:26:51,644 --> 00:26:54,311
the least exhaustive
married couple in history.

519
00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:57,047
[bicycle bell rings]

520
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:02,586
[horn honking]

521
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,227
...being that...

522
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:12,129
Oh, you're in here.

523
00:27:12,164 --> 00:27:13,564
Yes, we're in here.

524
00:27:13,599 --> 00:27:15,766
Oh. Good afternoon,
Señora.

525
00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:17,034
M. Chandebisse.

526
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:18,836
Darling.

527
00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:19,970
Wouldn't you be more comfortable

528
00:27:20,006 --> 00:27:21,372
- up in the drawing room?
- Probably.

529
00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:23,374
All the same, we are in here.

530
00:27:23,409 --> 00:27:25,509
Ah. Well.

531
00:27:31,517 --> 00:27:32,483
Cigar?

532
00:27:32,518 --> 00:27:34,518
Thank you.

533
00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:36,720
My husband wants to consult you

534
00:27:36,756 --> 00:27:38,422
this afternoon,
M. Chandebisse.

535
00:27:38,457 --> 00:27:40,057
He's making his will.

536
00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:41,925
Oh, yes, of course.

537
00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:44,595
I'm sure it's not
necessary in his case.

538
00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:47,264
I had the honor of examining
your husband medically

539
00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:49,066
the other day, Señora de Castilian.

540
00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:51,402
What a physique, what stamina.

541
00:27:51,437 --> 00:27:52,670
You should be proud.

542
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:54,505
And exhausted.

543
00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:57,207
You're home early, Victor.

544
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:59,977
I just had a short rape
this morning.

545
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,211
Didn't take long.

546
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:03,047
He's probably not joking.

547
00:28:03,082 --> 00:28:04,081
[door opens]

548
00:28:05,751 --> 00:28:08,585
This communication
has just arrived,

549
00:28:08,621 --> 00:28:10,554
special delivery, for the master.

550
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:15,626
Oh, thank you, Charles.

551
00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:40,684
What is it, dear?

552
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:42,653
Not bad news, I hope.

553
00:28:42,688 --> 00:28:45,255
No, no, dear.
Just, uh, business.

554
00:28:47,626 --> 00:28:49,059
[whispering]
What did I tell you?

555
00:28:51,697 --> 00:28:53,197
Come upstairs, Suzanne.

556
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,632
Let us leave Victor
to his business.

557
00:28:58,838 --> 00:29:01,171
Gabrielle, I brought them...

558
00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:03,974
Flowers at a time like this?

559
00:29:04,009 --> 00:29:05,976
Oh, you'd better go into the study.

560
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:09,113
[whispering]
I'm sure Victor can't wait

561
00:29:09,148 --> 00:29:11,048
to tell him his news.

562
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,382
Men!

563
00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:13,851
But, Gabrielle...

564
00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:15,385
Shall I take your
bouquet, monsieur?

565
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,554
Hmm? Oh, yes. Thank you.

566
00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:24,394
Apparently, it was
love at first sight.

567
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,763
[door opens]

568
00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:30,567
Victor, Gabrielle seems
to be very nervous today.

569
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:31,902
Henri, you've come at a good time.

570
00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:32,970
Oh, really? What is it?

571
00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:34,138
- Hello, Doctor.
- Hello, Tournel.

572
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:35,606
I've made a conquest.
Listen to this.

573
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:37,574
"I'm the girl who couldn't
take your eyes off you

574
00:29:37,610 --> 00:29:38,942
"last week at the races.

575
00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:40,811
You were there with your
wife and another man."

576
00:29:40,846 --> 00:29:42,246
Another man.
That's you, Tournel,

577
00:29:42,281 --> 00:29:43,413
the first one she saw...

578
00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:44,815
a blurred, anonymous individual.

579
00:29:44,850 --> 00:29:46,550
Oh, thank you very much.

580
00:29:46,585 --> 00:29:49,553
"Since then, you're
all I dream of."

581
00:29:49,588 --> 00:29:51,855
- No.
- Yes. I'm all she dreams of.

582
00:29:51,891 --> 00:29:52,956
[laughing]

583
00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:54,258
That's odd.

584
00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:56,393
Don't you find it
extremely odd, Doctor?

585
00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:58,929
People do have morbid
dreams occasionally.

586
00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:01,031
"I'll be waiting for you today

587
00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:03,967
5:00 in the Hotel
Coq d'Or."

588
00:30:04,003 --> 00:30:05,636
The Hotel Coq d'Or?

589
00:30:05,671 --> 00:30:08,071
If she knows that place,
she must be a connoisseur.

590
00:30:08,107 --> 00:30:10,207
That's where I go for my
little adventures.

591
00:30:10,242 --> 00:30:11,542
Henri: Oh.

592
00:30:11,577 --> 00:30:13,377
Oh, my goodness.
She wept.

593
00:30:13,412 --> 00:30:14,878
- No.
- Yes.

594
00:30:14,914 --> 00:30:17,347
"Why can't I stop crying
when I write to you?"

595
00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:18,749
Look, it's drenched.

596
00:30:18,784 --> 00:30:21,018
Strong-smelling tears.

597
00:30:21,053 --> 00:30:23,453
Did you notice
any girl looking at us?

598
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,256
Yes, yes, I did notice something.

599
00:30:26,292 --> 00:30:27,724
You know I don't want to brag,

600
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,027
but, uh, I thought
it was meant for me.

601
00:30:30,062 --> 00:30:32,095
Oh, for you?

602
00:30:32,131 --> 00:30:34,031
I don't think you were
in the box at the time.

603
00:30:34,066 --> 00:30:36,166
Well, it's addressed
to M. Chandebisse.

604
00:30:36,202 --> 00:30:38,101
Of course. Your name
was on the box,

605
00:30:38,137 --> 00:30:39,369
so naturally...

606
00:30:39,405 --> 00:30:40,804
Oh, you really think that...

607
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,306
Of course.
It's obvious.

608
00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:43,440
Doctor, what do you think?

609
00:30:43,475 --> 00:30:45,475
Oh, I must be going, Victor.

610
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:48,312
I have a long list
of patients to finish off.

611
00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:51,715
I mean, uh, well, I must go anyway.

612
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:53,817
Why don't you go?

613
00:30:53,853 --> 00:30:54,985
Me?

614
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,453
Yes. I'm not free
for this afternoon.

615
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,121
I've got a client arriving
about his will.

616
00:30:58,157 --> 00:30:59,356
Oh, that's a shame.

617
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:00,791
Uh, well, uh,

618
00:31:00,826 --> 00:31:03,393
I was looking forward
to another little adventure.

619
00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,929
Well, it'll have to be postponed.

620
00:31:07,266 --> 00:31:08,932
Oh, really? With whom?

621
00:31:08,968 --> 00:31:12,569
Well, Victor, I couldn't
possibly tell you.

622
00:31:12,605 --> 00:31:16,039
But, uh, your unknown beauty
will do me for the moment.

623
00:31:16,075 --> 00:31:17,941
Take her with my compliments.

624
00:31:17,977 --> 00:31:20,277
Thank you.
Uh, give me the letter.

625
00:31:20,312 --> 00:31:22,479
No, no, no.
You don't need that.

626
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:24,548
All you have to do
is go to the hotel

627
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:27,117
and ask for the room booked
in the name of Chandebisse.

628
00:31:27,152 --> 00:31:30,020
Don Carlos de Castilian, monsieur.

629
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,655
Ah, my dear Don Carlos.

630
00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:34,224
Ah, Chandebisse.
<i>Buenos días.</i>

631
00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:35,559
You wanted to consult me?

632
00:31:35,594 --> 00:31:38,128
Oh, yes, Chandebisse,
to make the will.

633
00:31:38,163 --> 00:31:40,697
Uh, who knows when death
will visit us.

634
00:31:40,733 --> 00:31:42,332
Ah, yes. You're probably
very wise.

635
00:31:42,368 --> 00:31:43,567
Come and sit down.

636
00:31:44,837 --> 00:31:47,271
Oh, Henri, you're going already?

637
00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:51,375
Just to say goodbye to Gabrielle.

638
00:31:52,378 --> 00:31:53,644
Who is that man?

639
00:31:53,679 --> 00:31:55,145
Henri Tournel.

640
00:31:55,180 --> 00:31:57,180
Now, I'm sure you'll
live a very long time.

641
00:31:57,216 --> 00:31:59,349
However, as you say, be prepared.

642
00:31:59,385 --> 00:32:02,920
Here is Paris, the air
is no good for me.

643
00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:04,187
Really? I find it
very pleasant,

644
00:32:04,223 --> 00:32:05,422
especially this time of year.

645
00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:09,826
Hmm. Night and day I am
tormented with jealousy.

646
00:32:09,862 --> 00:32:12,429
Do you agree my wife
is a beautiful woman?

647
00:32:12,464 --> 00:32:13,563
Oh, yes, perfectly so.

648
00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,232
Let's see, your name
is Don Carlos de...

649
00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:16,934
You agree.
You can understand.

650
00:32:16,969 --> 00:32:21,605
When I am with my wife,
I do not wish to sleep.

651
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:25,142
When she's away,
I am no able to sleep.

652
00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:26,710
How very restless for you.

653
00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:30,347
Any time of the day or night,
my honor may be stained.

654
00:32:30,382 --> 00:32:32,416
Oh, come now. I'm sure
your wife wouldn't dream...

655
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:33,984
She would dream, yes,

656
00:32:34,019 --> 00:32:36,453
but I hope she would no do.

657
00:32:36,488 --> 00:32:39,189
She knows I would be terrible.

658
00:32:39,224 --> 00:32:40,524
Really?

659
00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:41,625
Ah, yes.

660
00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:47,531
You see this little toy?

661
00:32:51,837 --> 00:32:53,036
Uh, put that away.

662
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,805
Good heavens, don't play
with things like that.

663
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,240
No, no, no. No danger.
It's just a deterrent.

664
00:32:57,276 --> 00:32:58,241
All the same...

665
00:32:58,277 --> 00:32:59,843
If I catch her with a man,

666
00:32:59,878 --> 00:33:01,511
he would get a bullet in the back,

667
00:33:01,547 --> 00:33:04,114
which will pass through
and come out of the back.

668
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:05,315
Out of his back?

669
00:33:05,351 --> 00:33:07,617
No. Hers.

670
00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:08,986
Out of her back?

671
00:33:09,021 --> 00:33:11,822
Oh, I see.
You think, um, uh...

672
00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:13,357
your wife like, uh...

673
00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:15,559
I think?
What do you mean I think?

674
00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:16,793
No, no. Nothing.
Nothing at all.

675
00:33:16,829 --> 00:33:18,528
She knows what will happen.

676
00:33:18,564 --> 00:33:21,231
I told her on the wedding night.

677
00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:25,235
Yes, that's charming for her.

678
00:33:26,372 --> 00:33:29,706
Paris is a city
full of temptations.

679
00:33:29,742 --> 00:33:32,776
Of course. Don't tell me
you don't enjoy

680
00:33:32,811 --> 00:33:34,211
some of the, uh, temptations.

681
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:36,980
Ha ha. I must admit, yes.

682
00:33:37,016 --> 00:33:40,384
I can be tempted by your
beautiful Parisian women

683
00:33:40,419 --> 00:33:42,419
and never feel jealous of myself.

684
00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:43,887
Very tolerant of you.

685
00:33:43,922 --> 00:33:46,156
But they are rather
irresistible, aren't they?

686
00:33:46,191 --> 00:33:48,191
Mm, the best in the world.

687
00:33:48,227 --> 00:33:51,228
And so enthusiastic.

688
00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:52,963
Hmm, you're quite right.

689
00:33:52,998 --> 00:33:54,731
Oh, this might interest you.

690
00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:57,167
I got a very odd letter
this afternoon.

691
00:33:57,202 --> 00:33:58,535
What is this letter?

692
00:33:58,570 --> 00:33:59,669
A complete stranger.

693
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:01,505
She's arranging
a rendezvous at 5:00

694
00:34:01,540 --> 00:34:02,372
at the Hotel Coq d'Or.

695
00:34:02,408 --> 00:34:04,007
Truly?

696
00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:05,509
Who is this girl who writes to you?

697
00:34:05,544 --> 00:34:07,044
A mystery. It's not signed.

698
00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:09,413
Perhaps one of those
anonymous persons.

699
00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:11,548
A woman of the world,
sophisticated.

700
00:34:11,583 --> 00:34:12,682
Married, probably.

701
00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:14,718
Why you say this?

702
00:34:14,753 --> 00:34:16,219
- What?
- Why you say this?

703
00:34:16,255 --> 00:34:17,654
[imitating Carlos' accent]
Why I say this?

704
00:34:17,689 --> 00:34:19,556
I beg your pardon. No,
it's the way it's written.

705
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:20,957
Loose women are much more
straightforward,

706
00:34:20,993 --> 00:34:22,626
not so sentimental.

707
00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:23,827
Have a look.

708
00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:25,829
[laughing]
Good joke.

709
00:34:25,864 --> 00:34:27,998
A poor stupid husband
being cheated.

710
00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:29,332
That makes you laugh, does it?

711
00:34:29,368 --> 00:34:30,700
Such a good joke.

712
00:34:32,337 --> 00:34:33,537
Ohh!

713
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:34,704
Don't you feel well?

714
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:35,906
<i>Caramba.</i>

715
00:34:35,941 --> 00:34:37,007
What's the matter?

716
00:34:37,042 --> 00:34:38,508
Her own writing.

717
00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:40,110
My wife's handwriting!

718
00:34:40,145 --> 00:34:41,211
What?

719
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:42,412
Mongrel.

720
00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:45,482
A snake. Reptile!

721
00:34:45,517 --> 00:34:47,284
My wife sends you letters?

722
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:48,518
Certainly not.

723
00:34:48,554 --> 00:34:49,886
Anyway, how do you know
it's her writing?

724
00:34:49,922 --> 00:34:51,154
Nowadays, all women write alike.

725
00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:52,389
I know it's hers.

726
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:53,857
Anyway, I'm not going to see her.

727
00:34:53,892 --> 00:34:54,958
It's Henri Tournel.

728
00:34:54,993 --> 00:34:57,394
Henri Tournel?
The man who was here?

729
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,396
Good. I shall kill him!

730
00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:00,630
I must tell him.

731
00:35:00,666 --> 00:35:02,132
You wish the bullet in the back?

732
00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:03,767
Uh, no, thank you.

733
00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:07,137
In here.

734
00:35:07,172 --> 00:35:08,371
There?

735
00:35:08,407 --> 00:35:09,406
Hmm.

736
00:35:17,683 --> 00:35:20,684
One sound, and I kill you.

737
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,487
I will give them
all the time in the world.

738
00:35:23,522 --> 00:35:26,323
I wish them to arrive
at the filthy French hotel.

739
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:28,525
I wish it consummated.

740
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,094
Then I have my proof.

741
00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:32,963
I will discover them,

742
00:35:32,998 --> 00:35:35,398
and I will kill beautifully.

743
00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:39,970
I need a drink.

744
00:35:47,412 --> 00:35:48,979
Filthy French drink.

745
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:02,325
Filthy French lover.

746
00:36:05,297 --> 00:36:07,497
Quick. The Hotel Coq d'Or.

747
00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:11,468
She certainly leads
a full, rich life.

748
00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:23,046
I'll just go and take off
my cap, darling,

749
00:36:23,081 --> 00:36:25,982
and then we're off
to the Hotel Coq d'Or.

750
00:36:29,021 --> 00:36:30,854
[speaking incomprehensibly]

751
00:36:32,257 --> 00:36:33,623
Ah, you!

752
00:36:33,659 --> 00:36:34,658
[garbled] Who? Me?

753
00:36:34,693 --> 00:36:37,761
Shameless, lustful, lecherous.

754
00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:40,764
Death will visit us.
Good afternoon.

755
00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:42,165
[garbled]
Good afternoon.

756
00:36:42,201 --> 00:36:44,568
- Uh...
- [knocking]

757
00:36:48,140 --> 00:36:49,406
[knocking]

758
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:53,843
Help!

759
00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:54,911
Help!

760
00:36:54,947 --> 00:36:56,246
[garbled]
Who on earth is that?

761
00:36:56,281 --> 00:36:57,814
Pierre, is that you?

762
00:36:57,849 --> 00:36:59,216
I think so.

763
00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:00,717
Open the door, for God's sake.

764
00:37:02,287 --> 00:37:03,486
Where's that terrible Spaniard?

765
00:37:03,522 --> 00:37:04,688
He's just gone out.

766
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:06,256
- And Henri Tournel?
- Gone out, too.

767
00:37:06,291 --> 00:37:07,924
Good heavens. There's not
a moment to lose.

768
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,726
We're about to witness
a ghastly tragedy,

769
00:37:09,761 --> 00:37:11,895
- probably a double murder.
- [mumbling]

770
00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:13,597
I must find Henri Tournel

771
00:37:13,632 --> 00:37:15,065
and warn him his life's at stake.

772
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:16,399
- His life's at stake?
- Yes, life's at stake.

773
00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:17,400
My heavens, my...

774
00:37:17,436 --> 00:37:20,003
What dramas.
My God, what dramas.

775
00:37:21,473 --> 00:37:22,439
Clement!

776
00:37:22,474 --> 00:37:24,040
[speaking incomprehensibly]

777
00:37:25,444 --> 00:37:27,811
Huh? What? It's gone.

778
00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:29,212
My... My...

779
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,349
Ah. There it is.

780
00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:33,683
[mumbling]

781
00:37:36,722 --> 00:37:39,055
[perfect diction] M. Tournel,
your life's at stake!

782
00:37:39,091 --> 00:37:40,624
Your life's at stake!

783
00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:42,292
Tell Charles to go
to the Hotel Coq...

784
00:37:42,327 --> 00:37:43,960
what's it called...
before the balloon goes up.

785
00:37:43,996 --> 00:37:45,662
M. Tournel,
your life's at stake!

786
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:47,230
My God, it works.

787
00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:48,598
About the balloon?

788
00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,300
- Oh...
- M. Tournel!

789
00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:52,535
The Hotel Coq d'Or.
I can't wait.

790
00:37:52,571 --> 00:37:53,937
But I must warn M. Tournel.

791
00:37:53,972 --> 00:37:55,372
It's a matter of life or death.

792
00:37:55,407 --> 00:37:56,473
Some things, darling,

793
00:37:56,508 --> 00:37:58,408
are more important
than life and death.

794
00:37:58,443 --> 00:38:00,310
Ooh!

795
00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:03,146
Ooh!

796
00:38:04,349 --> 00:38:06,049
Wait! Wait!

797
00:38:19,665 --> 00:38:20,930
[honk honk]

798
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:23,066
Victor: Henri! Henri!

799
00:38:23,101 --> 00:38:24,768
Your life's at stake!

800
00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:27,637
Cab! Cab!

801
00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:46,723
[no audible dialogue]

802
00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:56,099
[honk honk]

803
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:58,735
Hey. Can't you pay attention?

804
00:38:58,770 --> 00:39:00,003
Crazy.

805
00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:03,406
[bicycle bell ringing]

806
00:39:15,387 --> 00:39:16,853
Hotel Coq d'Or.

807
00:39:20,292 --> 00:39:21,925
Filthy French hotel.

808
00:39:31,770 --> 00:39:33,002
[honking]

809
00:39:33,038 --> 00:39:35,505
M. Tournel! M. Tournel!

810
00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:37,273
But it's M. Tournel!

811
00:39:40,946 --> 00:39:44,180
♪ Hotel Coq d'Or ♪

812
00:39:44,216 --> 00:39:45,348
[honking]

813
00:39:45,384 --> 00:39:46,683
♪ Hotel Coq d'Or ♪

814
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:48,118
♪ Hotel Coq d'Or, Coq d'Or ♪

815
00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:49,185
♪ Hotel Coq d'Or ♪

816
00:39:49,221 --> 00:39:51,621
♪ Hotel Coq d'Or ♪

817
00:39:51,656 --> 00:39:53,089
[honking]

818
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:07,003
Poche!
Where are you, Poche?

819
00:40:07,038 --> 00:40:08,905
Where's that stupid
hall porter gone to?

820
00:40:08,940 --> 00:40:10,874
We got a notice for a telegram.

821
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:12,942
I sent him
to the post office
to fetch it.

822
00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:14,377
- You sent Poche?
- Yes.

823
00:40:14,413 --> 00:40:16,279
But he can't even read a telegram.

824
00:40:16,314 --> 00:40:18,047
He only has to bring it back.

825
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,317
By now he's visited
every bar between here
and the Eiffel Tower.

826
00:40:21,353 --> 00:40:22,786
He'll return here drunk.

827
00:40:37,669 --> 00:40:38,868
Poche!

828
00:40:39,971 --> 00:40:42,005
At the bottle again, Poche,

829
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,940
you dog's dinner, you.

830
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:46,309
Did you go to the post office?

831
00:40:47,746 --> 00:40:49,379
Dispatches from the front, chief.

832
00:40:50,415 --> 00:40:52,148
This telegram just came.

833
00:40:52,184 --> 00:40:53,650
To your post!

834
00:40:56,655 --> 00:40:58,054
Heh!

835
00:40:58,089 --> 00:40:59,155
Thank you, chief.

836
00:40:59,191 --> 00:41:00,457
Get going there!

837
00:41:00,492 --> 00:41:03,560
Hup, hup, hup, hup,
hup, hup, hup, hup,

838
00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:04,561
hup, hup, hup.

839
00:41:05,697 --> 00:41:07,063
Look at Poche.

840
00:41:07,098 --> 00:41:08,965
Happy as a babe unborn.

841
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,434
The more you hit,
the more they love you.

842
00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:15,104
You give such beautiful beatings.

843
00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:17,173
We've got to reserve a good room

844
00:41:17,209 --> 00:41:20,710
and show in anyone
who mentions the name
of Chandebisse.

845
00:41:20,745 --> 00:41:23,880
Ah. Eugenie.
Ready for inspection?

846
00:41:23,915 --> 00:41:25,682
Ready, General.

847
00:41:27,219 --> 00:41:28,918
All present and correct?

848
00:41:28,954 --> 00:41:30,720
I think so, sir.

849
00:41:30,755 --> 00:41:31,821
Bathroom.

850
00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:34,624
Clean towels at the ready?

851
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,125
Yes, sir.

852
00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:38,361
Excellent.
Bathroom's essential.

853
00:41:38,396 --> 00:41:40,497
Now, shall we test

854
00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,999
the ingenious invention
I've just installed?

855
00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:44,467
Do we have to, sir?

856
00:41:44,503 --> 00:41:47,303
Imagine you're a faithless wife.

857
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:51,207
Passionately embracing your lover.

858
00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:58,081
And you hear your husband
pounding at the door,

859
00:41:58,116 --> 00:41:59,716
followed by the police.

860
00:41:59,751 --> 00:42:00,917
What do you do?

861
00:42:00,952 --> 00:42:03,253
Press the button, sir.

862
00:42:03,288 --> 00:42:04,554
Retreat!

863
00:42:11,096 --> 00:42:13,363
And all a jealous husband can find

864
00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:15,031
is my old wreck of an uncle Louis.

865
00:42:15,066 --> 00:42:17,901
My bronchials, my chills.

866
00:42:17,936 --> 00:42:20,737
All right, Uncle Louis.
No need to go through all that.

867
00:42:20,772 --> 00:42:22,272
It was just a rehearsal.

868
00:42:22,307 --> 00:42:23,973
On parade at the double.

869
00:42:24,009 --> 00:42:26,776
All present and correct.
My duty calls.

870
00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:30,146
All right now, Eugenie,
that's enough.

871
00:42:32,584 --> 00:42:34,117
Wake up, you lazy lot!

872
00:42:34,152 --> 00:42:35,318
On parade.

873
00:42:35,353 --> 00:42:36,953
♪

874
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:43,192
Yes, Madame?

875
00:42:44,829 --> 00:42:47,030
Have you a room, by any chance,

876
00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:48,498
booked in the name of Chandebisse?

877
00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:50,466
Of course, Madame.
Number 1,

878
00:42:50,502 --> 00:42:51,868
our very best.

879
00:42:55,140 --> 00:42:56,673
[speaking Japanese]

880
00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:07,650
Mad?

881
00:43:07,686 --> 00:43:10,353
Oh, no, Madame.
Merely Oriental.

882
00:43:10,388 --> 00:43:13,256
Madame will find this has
every convenience.

883
00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:16,025
Bathroom, naturally.

884
00:43:16,061 --> 00:43:18,294
Bathroom's essential, of course.

885
00:43:27,339 --> 00:43:28,771
The wallpaper's tasteful,

886
00:43:28,807 --> 00:43:31,274
if you have a moment
to glance over the wallpaper.

887
00:43:31,309 --> 00:43:34,644
Thank you, but I have
no intention of moving in.

888
00:43:36,514 --> 00:43:39,349
Now, if I could just demonstrate

889
00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:40,516
my latest improvement.

890
00:43:40,552 --> 00:43:42,785
Please go away.

891
00:43:44,589 --> 00:43:47,123
Tactless man.

892
00:43:47,158 --> 00:43:49,158
Some people don't know
what's good for them.

893
00:43:54,599 --> 00:43:56,899
[pop, hiss]

894
00:44:11,850 --> 00:44:13,049
Hey! Hey!

895
00:44:13,084 --> 00:44:15,151
Hotel Coq d'Or.

896
00:44:15,186 --> 00:44:17,086
Quick! Quick!

897
00:44:21,726 --> 00:44:23,726
You've been deserting us, Doctor.

898
00:44:23,762 --> 00:44:24,927
Number 8 for you.

899
00:44:24,963 --> 00:44:26,329
Number 8? Oh, perfect.

900
00:44:26,364 --> 00:44:27,964
But where's Marcel?

901
00:44:27,999 --> 00:44:29,265
Had to discharge him.

902
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:30,900
Kept making passes
at the customers.

903
00:44:30,935 --> 00:44:32,201
I've got a new hall porter.

904
00:44:32,237 --> 00:44:33,703
Used to serve under me
in the regiment.

905
00:44:33,738 --> 00:44:35,271
- Poche!
- Never mind.

906
00:44:35,306 --> 00:44:36,539
I know my way.

907
00:44:36,574 --> 00:44:38,374
So you should, Doctor.

908
00:44:38,410 --> 00:44:40,309
Good afternoon!

909
00:44:40,345 --> 00:44:41,444
Eugenie!

910
00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:45,848
Take this lady and gentleman
to number 11,

911
00:44:45,884 --> 00:44:47,316
as usual.

912
00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:48,685
[laughing]

913
00:44:51,823 --> 00:44:54,490
[whistling]

914
00:44:54,526 --> 00:44:55,958
Uh, good afternoon.

915
00:44:55,994 --> 00:44:58,761
Which is Mr. Chandebisse's
room, please?

916
00:44:58,797 --> 00:45:00,296
Pardon me for mentioning it,

917
00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:02,065
but you're not
M. Chandebisse.

918
00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:03,833
I'm here to represent
his interests.

919
00:45:03,868 --> 00:45:06,469
Oh, yes.
The telegram said

920
00:45:06,504 --> 00:45:09,338
we were to let him
whoever mentioned
his name.

921
00:45:09,374 --> 00:45:11,641
Madame is already there.

922
00:45:11,676 --> 00:45:12,709
Good.

923
00:45:12,744 --> 00:45:14,744
- This way, sir.
- Thank you.

924
00:45:14,779 --> 00:45:16,279
Uh, tell me,

925
00:45:16,314 --> 00:45:18,081
how does she look?

926
00:45:18,116 --> 00:45:20,349
Not too broad in the beam, I hope.

927
00:45:20,385 --> 00:45:22,051
You should know that, surely.

928
00:45:22,087 --> 00:45:24,587
As a matter of fact, I can't
remember her very clearly.

929
00:45:24,622 --> 00:45:26,989
Cheer up, sir.
She may not have

930
00:45:27,025 --> 00:45:28,624
the sweetest character
in the world,

931
00:45:28,660 --> 00:45:29,992
but she's certainly pretty.

932
00:45:30,028 --> 00:45:32,562
Well, I don't come here
for character anyway, do I?

933
00:45:33,998 --> 00:45:34,997
Thank you.

934
00:45:44,776 --> 00:45:46,342
[water running]

935
00:46:09,868 --> 00:46:11,534
Henri: Coo-coo.

936
00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:13,035
Coo-coo.

937
00:46:13,071 --> 00:46:15,404
I'll give you coo-coo.

938
00:46:16,975 --> 00:46:18,541
Coo-coo!

939
00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:20,109
It's not him!

940
00:46:20,145 --> 00:46:22,578
Gabrielle! What on earth
are you doing here?

941
00:46:22,614 --> 00:46:24,547
M. Tournel.
I can't understand it.

942
00:46:24,582 --> 00:46:28,251
Gabrielle, my darling.
What a beautiful surprise.

943
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:30,019
I was saving you for later,

944
00:46:30,054 --> 00:46:31,754
but now fate
has brought us together.

945
00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:33,656
M. Tournel, explain
yourself, please.

946
00:46:33,691 --> 00:46:35,291
A girl is infatuated with me.

947
00:46:35,326 --> 00:46:36,559
She saw me at the races,

948
00:46:36,594 --> 00:46:38,261
and of course the lightning struck.

949
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:39,929
What can I do?
She wrote to me.

950
00:46:39,964 --> 00:46:41,430
I took pity on her.
But, Gabrielle...

951
00:46:41,466 --> 00:46:42,865
But you've got it all wrong!

952
00:46:42,901 --> 00:46:44,500
I wrote that letter to my husband.

953
00:46:44,536 --> 00:46:46,903
You write love letters
to your husband?

954
00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:48,704
I wanted to know
if he was unfaithful,

955
00:46:48,740 --> 00:46:49,972
if he would come here.

956
00:46:50,008 --> 00:46:52,175
Gabrielle, you wouldn't have me

957
00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:53,476
because he was unfaithful.

958
00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:54,544
Now he sent me,

959
00:46:54,579 --> 00:46:56,212
so he's obviously faithful.

960
00:46:56,247 --> 00:46:57,914
You really think that's true?

961
00:46:57,949 --> 00:46:58,981
Of course.

962
00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:01,384
Oh, I'm so happy.

963
00:47:01,419 --> 00:47:03,553
- Oh, Gabrielle.
- So happy.

964
00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:05,655
Now are you sorry
you ever doubted him?

965
00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:06,689
Ohh.

966
00:47:06,724 --> 00:47:08,057
You were wrong to suspect him.

967
00:47:08,092 --> 00:47:09,458
And now there is no reason

968
00:47:09,494 --> 00:47:11,294
why you shouldn't deceive him.

969
00:47:11,329 --> 00:47:13,729
Poor dear fellow.
Wonderful man.

970
00:47:13,765 --> 00:47:14,997
Of course you are right.

971
00:47:15,033 --> 00:47:16,666
It was wrong of me to suspect him.

972
00:47:16,701 --> 00:47:18,835
Oh, my own dearest Victor,

973
00:47:18,870 --> 00:47:20,403
try and forgive me.

974
00:47:20,438 --> 00:47:21,404
Don't apologize.

975
00:47:21,439 --> 00:47:22,505
Just be mine.

976
00:47:22,540 --> 00:47:24,040
That will be my punishment.

977
00:47:24,075 --> 00:47:25,908
- Let's seize the moment.
- Yes.

978
00:47:25,944 --> 00:47:27,643
Now, when our senses are enflamed.

979
00:47:27,679 --> 00:47:29,412
- Yes!
- Almost unbearably.

980
00:47:29,447 --> 00:47:31,480
- Yes!
- Ah, my darling.

981
00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:33,216
Oh. Where are you
taking me?

982
00:47:33,251 --> 00:47:34,250
There.

983
00:47:34,285 --> 00:47:36,219
[gasp] There?

984
00:47:36,254 --> 00:47:39,188
What do you take me for?

985
00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:40,189
Gabrielle, you said...

986
00:47:40,225 --> 00:47:41,457
I said that I would give you

987
00:47:41,492 --> 00:47:42,725
the best part of myself.

988
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,026
- Which?
- My head and my heart.

989
00:47:44,062 --> 00:47:46,462
The wrong part. Now,
Gabrielle, you agreed...

990
00:47:46,497 --> 00:47:48,164
To be your mistress, yes,

991
00:47:48,199 --> 00:47:50,032
but not to go to bed with you.

992
00:47:50,068 --> 00:47:51,067
What?

993
00:47:53,771 --> 00:47:56,305
Do you think I'll be made a fool of

994
00:47:56,341 --> 00:47:57,940
in front of myself?

995
00:47:57,976 --> 00:48:00,243
Do you imagine I'll go out of here

996
00:48:00,278 --> 00:48:02,011
in the same state as I came in?

997
00:48:02,046 --> 00:48:03,980
- Oh, no.
- I'll ring for help.

998
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:06,182
Go and ring.
Wear out your finger.

999
00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:08,351
No one will come in here.

1000
00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:09,986
- Aah!
- Shout all you like,

1001
00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:12,788
my fine, juicy nectarine.

1002
00:48:12,824 --> 00:48:14,357
I'm going to have you.

1003
00:48:14,392 --> 00:48:16,092
I'm going to have you!

1004
00:48:16,127 --> 00:48:17,460
Gabrielle, at last!

1005
00:48:17,495 --> 00:48:19,295
My chills. My bronchials.

1006
00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:20,930
- Gabrielle!
- [coughing]

1007
00:48:32,477 --> 00:48:33,342
[gasp]

1008
00:48:33,378 --> 00:48:35,244
My husband.

1009
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,646
[door closes]

1010
00:48:56,868 --> 00:48:58,100
Gabrielle.

1011
00:48:59,103 --> 00:49:01,437
Put me down at once!

1012
00:49:01,472 --> 00:49:02,605
Gabrielle!

1013
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,206
Sex maniac!

1014
00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:05,241
Oh, not again.

1015
00:49:05,276 --> 00:49:06,275
[speaking Japanese]

1016
00:49:06,311 --> 00:49:07,610
[speaking Japanese]

1017
00:49:07,645 --> 00:49:09,011
Gabrielle!

1018
00:49:09,047 --> 00:49:10,780
This is too much.

1019
00:49:10,815 --> 00:49:12,415
My husband's here.

1020
00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:13,649
Oh, really? What?

1021
00:49:13,685 --> 00:49:15,084
Disguised as a servant.

1022
00:49:15,119 --> 00:49:17,019
To spy on us, no doubt.

1023
00:49:17,055 --> 00:49:18,821
Oh, my God.
What's that?

1024
00:49:18,856 --> 00:49:21,190
Oh, my bronchials.
My chills.

1025
00:49:21,225 --> 00:49:22,191
[coughing]

1026
00:49:22,226 --> 00:49:23,893
I don't know.
Some sort of invalid.

1027
00:49:23,928 --> 00:49:25,494
He suddenly appeared.
Go away.

1028
00:49:25,530 --> 00:49:28,164
Press the button, then I go.

1029
00:49:30,868 --> 00:49:33,235
Really, that's the end,
bringing on spectators.

1030
00:49:33,271 --> 00:49:35,304
Go back where you came from
and stay there.

1031
00:49:35,340 --> 00:49:37,940
I'm sorry, Gabrielle,
but I'm not responsible for...

1032
00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:39,342
- [gasp]
- Oh, my God.

1033
00:49:39,377 --> 00:49:41,210
Victor Emanuel.
My dear old fellow...

1034
00:49:41,245 --> 00:49:42,545
It's not what you're thinking.

1035
00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:43,846
You mustn't believe all you see.

1036
00:49:43,881 --> 00:49:45,147
Don't pass judgment
until you've heard us.

1037
00:49:45,183 --> 00:49:46,415
The circumstantial
evidence may look bad...

1038
00:49:46,451 --> 00:49:47,917
- But we're completely innocent.
- She's right.

1039
00:49:47,952 --> 00:49:49,385
We never expected
to meet each other.

1040
00:49:49,420 --> 00:49:50,653
It was the letter, you see.

1041
00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:51,921
I thought there was another woman.

1042
00:49:51,956 --> 00:49:53,889
I wanted to test you.
Forgive me.

1043
00:49:53,925 --> 00:49:55,024
Forgive us.

1044
00:49:55,059 --> 00:49:56,692
Of course, of course,
anything you like.

1045
00:49:56,728 --> 00:49:57,760
- Ohh.
- Ahh.

1046
00:49:57,795 --> 00:49:58,828
They've gone mad.

1047
00:49:58,863 --> 00:49:59,895
- Thank God.
- Thank God.

1048
00:50:02,066 --> 00:50:04,300
Oh, please, darling.
Curse me, beat me,

1049
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:05,935
but not that terrible
cruel laughter.

1050
00:50:05,970 --> 00:50:07,536
Beat me, too.

1051
00:50:07,572 --> 00:50:10,006
No time. I've got
to take this vermouth

1052
00:50:10,041 --> 00:50:11,974
to the Oriental gentleman.
Excuse me, Madame.

1053
00:50:12,010 --> 00:50:13,843
Madame? Call me
your little Gabrielle.

1054
00:50:13,878 --> 00:50:14,944
What? Gabrielle.

1055
00:50:14,979 --> 00:50:16,012
Please, darling, stop chattering

1056
00:50:16,047 --> 00:50:17,079
about vermouth and Oriental...

1057
00:50:17,115 --> 00:50:18,080
[muttering]

1058
00:50:18,116 --> 00:50:19,382
Kiss me.

1059
00:50:26,891 --> 00:50:29,091
That's the way.
All is forgiven.

1060
00:50:29,127 --> 00:50:30,393
Mmm.

1061
00:50:30,428 --> 00:50:32,194
Now let's kiss again.

1062
00:50:33,664 --> 00:50:35,231
Kiss me, too.

1063
00:50:39,971 --> 00:50:41,337
I think you should.

1064
00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:50,079
That's better now.

1065
00:50:50,114 --> 00:50:51,514
I liked it better with the lady.

1066
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,783
Manager: Poche!
Where are you, Poche?

1067
00:50:53,818 --> 00:50:55,051
On the double, sir.

1068
00:50:55,086 --> 00:50:56,519
My chief's calling.
I've got to go.

1069
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,454
Chief? My poor Victor,
what are you talking about?

1070
00:50:58,489 --> 00:51:00,589
You're Victor Emanuel, my husband.

1071
00:51:00,625 --> 00:51:02,058
I'm Poche, the hall porter.

1072
00:51:02,093 --> 00:51:04,460
You ask Uncle Louis.
He'll tell you.

1073
00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:06,595
- Uncle Louis?
- Who is Uncle Louis?

1074
00:51:06,631 --> 00:51:08,230
That I don't know.

1075
00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:10,232
Isn't he my husband?

1076
00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:13,035
You married Poche? Tragic.

1077
00:51:20,344 --> 00:51:22,711
Do you realize what we've done?

1078
00:51:22,747 --> 00:51:25,781
We have kissed the hall porter.

1079
00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,153
Mm. What a lovely tie.

1080
00:51:31,189 --> 00:51:32,354
I suppose you pinched that

1081
00:51:32,390 --> 00:51:33,889
from your Uncle Victor's wardrobe.

1082
00:51:33,925 --> 00:51:35,658
I wish I could get something new.

1083
00:51:35,693 --> 00:51:37,927
At least you're not
wearing his braces.

1084
00:51:37,962 --> 00:51:39,862
Oh, my God, his braces.

1085
00:51:39,897 --> 00:51:42,364
However did we manage
to lose them the last time?

1086
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,201
The last time was marvelous.

1087
00:51:45,236 --> 00:51:46,569
Driver: Montretout!

1088
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:48,337
The Hotel Coq d'Or.

1089
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,717
[bicycle bell rings]

1090
00:52:10,228 --> 00:52:11,460
♪

1091
00:52:12,497 --> 00:52:14,363
Hello, M. Chandebisse.

1092
00:52:14,398 --> 00:52:16,132
Got your braces, did you?

1093
00:52:16,167 --> 00:52:17,233
No.

1094
00:52:17,268 --> 00:52:18,767
We posted them on to you.

1095
00:52:18,803 --> 00:52:21,270
- Monsieur!
- Uncle Victor!

1096
00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:27,543
Must be love.

1097
00:52:33,985 --> 00:52:35,351
[chuckle]

1098
00:52:35,386 --> 00:52:36,886
Ohh.

1099
00:52:38,956 --> 00:52:40,723
[speaking Japanese]

1100
00:52:40,758 --> 00:52:42,958
Oh.

1101
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:46,295
Uncle Victor?

1102
00:52:46,330 --> 00:52:48,564
At the Hotel Coq d'Or?

1103
00:52:48,599 --> 00:52:51,433
Victor. I know I heard
someone say "Victor."

1104
00:52:51,469 --> 00:52:52,735
Oh, I'm fainting.

1105
00:52:52,770 --> 00:52:53,936
Stop.

1106
00:52:53,971 --> 00:52:55,604
I am not doing it for my pleasure.

1107
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:56,972
Then lie down.

1108
00:52:57,008 --> 00:52:58,140
Oh, all right.

1109
00:52:59,544 --> 00:53:00,876
Aah!

1110
00:53:00,912 --> 00:53:02,444
Oh, go away!

1111
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,013
- But...
- It's very rude

1112
00:53:04,048 --> 00:53:06,282
to keep whirling
into people's bedrooms.

1113
00:53:06,317 --> 00:53:09,051
I'm terribly sorry.
The bed ran away with me.

1114
00:53:09,086 --> 00:53:11,086
- [gasp]
- Aah!

1115
00:53:11,122 --> 00:53:12,621
It's Pierre.

1116
00:53:12,657 --> 00:53:15,524
With the power of speech.

1117
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:16,692
We go.

1118
00:53:29,907 --> 00:53:32,441
Your husband's butler.
That's all we need.

1119
00:53:43,354 --> 00:53:44,653
Antoinette.

1120
00:53:44,689 --> 00:53:46,455
[laughing]

1121
00:53:46,490 --> 00:53:47,856
Antoinette.

1122
00:53:49,293 --> 00:53:50,292
Hah!

1123
00:53:52,697 --> 00:53:54,063
Hah!

1124
00:53:54,098 --> 00:53:55,064
Ha!

1125
00:53:55,099 --> 00:53:56,665
Aah!

1126
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:03,639
[shouting in Japanese]

1127
00:54:04,675 --> 00:54:05,941
[speaking Japanese]

1128
00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:07,243
[speaking Japanese]

1129
00:54:07,278 --> 00:54:08,310
Aah!

1130
00:54:08,346 --> 00:54:09,378
[garbled] My roof.

1131
00:54:19,790 --> 00:54:21,390
Is the coast clear?

1132
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,259
No, he's coming this way.

1133
00:54:23,294 --> 00:54:24,260
Hide.

1134
00:54:24,295 --> 00:54:25,594
- Where?
- Here.

1135
00:54:30,701 --> 00:54:31,667
Drink?

1136
00:54:31,702 --> 00:54:33,602
With pleasure, thank you.

1137
00:54:33,638 --> 00:54:35,237
No, thank you.

1138
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,380
Oh, uh, I'm looking for a room

1139
00:54:44,415 --> 00:54:45,981
booked in the name of Chandebisse.

1140
00:54:46,017 --> 00:54:47,182
Chandebisse?

1141
00:54:47,218 --> 00:54:49,251
Yes, my master sent me
to find someone in there

1142
00:54:49,287 --> 00:54:50,719
and tell them
their life's at stake.

1143
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:52,354
Oh, I know
your M. Chandebisse.

1144
00:54:52,390 --> 00:54:53,656
He's been here before.

1145
00:54:53,691 --> 00:54:54,923
- Really?
- Oh, yes.

1146
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:56,392
He came in with his girlfriend,

1147
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:58,127
and then she went in there.

1148
00:54:58,162 --> 00:54:59,528
Number 3, I think.

1149
00:54:59,563 --> 00:55:01,764
I'll go in, then,
and save someone's life.

1150
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,132
Might as well.

1151
00:55:03,167 --> 00:55:04,867
Somebody's dropped their valuables.

1152
00:55:04,902 --> 00:55:06,769
Eh. It's damp.

1153
00:55:06,804 --> 00:55:11,540
Oh, sort of ancient
Egyptian costume jewelry.

1154
00:55:11,575 --> 00:55:14,543
I hand it in to the office.

1155
00:55:14,578 --> 00:55:16,145
[mumbling]

1156
00:55:16,180 --> 00:55:17,813
[Antoinette, Japanese man giggling]

1157
00:55:23,187 --> 00:55:24,620
Here.

1158
00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,789
That's my wife you're
wiping your nose on.

1159
00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:27,956
[speaking Japanese]

1160
00:55:27,992 --> 00:55:30,225
I'm the husband.
I should be hitting you.

1161
00:55:32,463 --> 00:55:33,629
You little slut!

1162
00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:35,264
Just you wait until I get you!

1163
00:55:35,299 --> 00:55:36,699
That's all, just you wait.

1164
00:55:36,734 --> 00:55:37,733
[gasp]

1165
00:55:37,768 --> 00:55:39,068
Monsieur.

1166
00:55:39,103 --> 00:55:41,470
You're carrying a bucket, monsieur.

1167
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:42,738
Oh, really?

1168
00:55:42,773 --> 00:55:43,972
And something else, monsieur.

1169
00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:46,575
My wife is indulging
on Far Eastern love play.

1170
00:55:46,610 --> 00:55:47,643
Very nice.

1171
00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:48,711
Not with me, monsieur.

1172
00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:50,379
With a little yellow fella.

1173
00:55:50,414 --> 00:55:51,714
There she goes.

1174
00:55:51,749 --> 00:55:53,015
Please, monsieur, do you want me?

1175
00:55:53,050 --> 00:55:54,316
No, not much.

1176
00:55:54,352 --> 00:55:55,818
Then may I...
may I give chase?

1177
00:55:55,853 --> 00:55:57,086
May I catch the little devil?

1178
00:55:57,121 --> 00:55:58,120
Have I your permission, monsieur?

1179
00:55:58,155 --> 00:55:59,822
- Yes, yes.
- Thank you very much.

1180
00:55:59,857 --> 00:56:01,123
Antoinette, come back here!

1181
00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:08,797
My husband's after me!
Help me!

1182
00:56:25,983 --> 00:56:27,716
Driver! Driver!

1183
00:56:30,921 --> 00:56:32,321
Follow that cavalry!

1184
00:56:35,192 --> 00:56:36,358
Hurry!

1185
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:37,693
Ohh!

1186
00:56:48,372 --> 00:56:51,340
Oh. Is Madame
Chandebisse here?

1187
00:56:51,375 --> 00:56:52,841
Madame Chandebisse?

1188
00:56:52,877 --> 00:56:54,710
Yes, I said
I'd meet her at 5:30

1189
00:56:54,745 --> 00:56:56,879
about a matter connected
with her husband.

1190
00:56:56,914 --> 00:56:58,747
Is there nobody here of that name?

1191
00:56:58,783 --> 00:57:00,582
- [door bell rings]
- So far as I can make out,

1192
00:57:00,618 --> 00:57:07,156
there's everyone here of that name.

1193
00:57:07,191 --> 00:57:09,658
Oh, Madame de Castilian.

1194
00:57:09,693 --> 00:57:12,194
M. Chandebisse.

1195
00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:14,029
My... My poor girl.

1196
00:57:14,064 --> 00:57:15,431
Your what?

1197
00:57:15,466 --> 00:57:17,433
You must be so terribly
in love with me.

1198
00:57:17,468 --> 00:57:19,268
That heartbroken little letter.

1199
00:57:19,303 --> 00:57:20,436
Mine?

1200
00:57:20,471 --> 00:57:22,237
That idiotic Henri
thought it was for him,

1201
00:57:22,273 --> 00:57:23,972
but, my dear, it's...
it's impossible.

1202
00:57:24,008 --> 00:57:25,707
Gabrielle wouldn't like it.

1203
00:57:25,743 --> 00:57:27,676
But to take your life in your hand.

1204
00:57:27,711 --> 00:57:29,311
What did I do?

1205
00:57:29,346 --> 00:57:31,447
When I realize
how brave you were...

1206
00:57:31,482 --> 00:57:33,148
When your husband saw the letter...

1207
00:57:33,184 --> 00:57:35,484
[gasp] You didn't
show that letter to...

1208
00:57:35,519 --> 00:57:36,518
- [door bell rings]
- Carlos: Where are they?

1209
00:57:36,554 --> 00:57:37,553
- Where are they?
- My God.

1210
00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:39,855
<i>Nombre de Diós.</i>

1211
00:57:39,890 --> 00:57:42,357
They cannot escape me.

1212
00:57:42,393 --> 00:57:45,461
Don't just stand there.
Run away.

1213
00:57:49,333 --> 00:57:50,566
Where are they?

1214
00:57:50,601 --> 00:57:53,302
<i>Hasta la muerte!</i>

1215
00:57:53,337 --> 00:57:55,571
Death will visit us!

1216
00:57:55,606 --> 00:57:57,673
Time for the killing.

1217
00:57:59,076 --> 00:58:00,375
Who is with my wife?

1218
00:58:00,411 --> 00:58:02,511
I kill them immediately!

1219
00:58:02,546 --> 00:58:04,847
Oh, put that food away.

1220
00:58:04,882 --> 00:58:06,648
You do everything
at the wrong moment.

1221
00:58:10,721 --> 00:58:12,955
Thank you.
I'm sorry.

1222
00:58:29,540 --> 00:58:30,439
Carlos: Where are they?

1223
00:58:30,474 --> 00:58:32,140
[gasp]

1224
00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:35,777
You cannot fool me wearing the hat!

1225
00:58:48,225 --> 00:58:49,324
[gasp]

1226
00:58:50,461 --> 00:58:52,227
Moment of truth.

1227
00:59:03,607 --> 00:59:04,873
Ohh.

1228
00:59:08,979 --> 00:59:10,145
Thank you.

1229
00:59:11,582 --> 00:59:13,348
[Man shouting in Japanese]

1230
00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,619
Poche!

1231
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:20,022
What's the idea, you horrible man,

1232
00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:22,891
parading in civvies,
you dog's dinner, you.

1233
00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:24,259
Who do you think you are?

1234
00:59:24,295 --> 00:59:26,328
My name is Victor
Emanuel Chandebisse.

1235
00:59:26,363 --> 00:59:28,964
And I'm the divine Sarah Bernhardt.

1236
00:59:28,999 --> 00:59:30,065
Kiss me, darling.

1237
00:59:30,100 --> 00:59:32,267
I'm a leading member
of the Paris Bar.

1238
00:59:32,303 --> 00:59:35,103
Oh, are you?
I'll tell the Paris bars

1239
00:59:35,139 --> 00:59:36,738
to stop serving you vermouth.

1240
00:59:36,774 --> 00:59:39,641
Got tight there,
didn't you, my pretty one?

1241
00:59:39,677 --> 00:59:40,742
He's a raving maniac.

1242
00:59:40,778 --> 00:59:41,777
Sloshed!

1243
00:59:41,812 --> 00:59:43,912
You are guilty, sir, of assault.

1244
00:59:43,948 --> 00:59:46,081
- And battery.
- You'll hear from my lawyer.

1245
00:59:46,116 --> 00:59:48,150
- Who's he?
- He's me.

1246
00:59:48,185 --> 00:59:50,986
Get out of that horrible
brothel-creeping costume.

1247
00:59:51,021 --> 00:59:52,220
I have no intention.

1248
00:59:52,256 --> 00:59:55,023
Do you want me to break
every bone in your body?

1249
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:56,558
No, thank you.

1250
00:59:59,830 --> 01:00:04,399
And get into a decent
self-respecting uniform.

1251
01:00:05,469 --> 01:00:06,702
Get your cap on now.

1252
01:00:06,737 --> 01:00:08,403
- No.
- What?

1253
01:00:10,307 --> 01:00:11,473
Yes.

1254
01:00:11,508 --> 01:00:14,509
Ready for the jacket now?

1255
01:00:14,545 --> 01:00:15,544
Yes.

1256
01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:19,348
Now the boiler.

1257
01:00:19,383 --> 01:00:20,415
The what?

1258
01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:23,151
Go and stoke the boiler!

1259
01:00:24,355 --> 01:00:26,121
It's a nightmare.

1260
01:00:27,925 --> 01:00:29,324
[Woman screams]

1261
01:00:31,495 --> 01:00:32,928
[screaming]

1262
01:00:34,798 --> 01:00:36,365
Aah!

1263
01:00:40,504 --> 01:00:41,770
Aah!

1264
01:00:43,173 --> 01:00:44,272
Aah!

1265
01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:45,907
Aah!

1266
01:00:49,513 --> 01:00:50,779
[gasp]

1267
01:00:55,486 --> 01:00:57,552
[shouting, door slams]

1268
01:00:58,756 --> 01:00:59,755
Poche.

1269
01:01:01,191 --> 01:01:02,290
Poche.

1270
01:01:07,931 --> 01:01:09,898
Take these to the post office.

1271
01:01:09,933 --> 01:01:12,300
Message received
and understood, Madame.

1272
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:23,278
Some cheeky bastard's
pinched my uniform.

1273
01:01:44,068 --> 01:01:46,234
That's all right
to go to the post office.

1274
01:02:03,854 --> 01:02:05,854
The coast is clear.
We can go.

1275
01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:08,323
Not in my car.
Too dangerous.

1276
01:02:08,358 --> 01:02:09,958
We'll take a cab.

1277
01:02:09,993 --> 01:02:12,994
Uh, porter, a cab, please.

1278
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:15,931
Gabrielle.

1279
01:02:15,966 --> 01:02:17,099
Henri.

1280
01:02:17,134 --> 01:02:20,435
Victor. I knew it was
you the whole time.

1281
01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:22,170
Didn't you know it was
Victor the whole time?

1282
01:02:22,206 --> 01:02:24,873
Of course, the whole time.
How are you, old fellow?

1283
01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,408
Still disguised as a servant?

1284
01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:28,076
Don't you trust us, Victor?

1285
01:02:28,112 --> 01:02:30,312
What do you think
you're doing here, sir,

1286
01:02:30,347 --> 01:02:31,513
with my wife?

1287
01:02:31,548 --> 01:02:33,348
We explained all that.

1288
01:02:33,383 --> 01:02:34,616
You kissed me.

1289
01:02:34,651 --> 01:02:35,784
You kissed me, too.

1290
01:02:35,819 --> 01:02:36,852
I did nothing of the sort!

1291
01:02:36,887 --> 01:02:37,919
You forgave us.

1292
01:02:37,955 --> 01:02:38,954
Forgave you? Why?

1293
01:02:38,989 --> 01:02:40,355
What was there to forgive?

1294
01:02:40,390 --> 01:02:41,923
What have you done?

1295
01:02:41,959 --> 01:02:43,859
No, don't tell me.
It's obvious.

1296
01:02:43,894 --> 01:02:45,527
It'll be a crime of passion.

1297
01:02:45,562 --> 01:02:47,696
I shall get myself
gloriously acquitted!

1298
01:02:47,731 --> 01:02:49,364
- Help!
- Manager: Poche!

1299
01:02:49,399 --> 01:02:50,398
The maniac.

1300
01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:51,566
[gasp]

1301
01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:55,504
Stoke the boiler, I said,

1302
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:57,973
not chatter to the customers.

1303
01:02:58,008 --> 01:03:00,509
Insubordination, Poche.

1304
01:03:00,544 --> 01:03:03,111
Back to your cell at the double.

1305
01:03:04,214 --> 01:03:06,815
Twice as quick as that,
you lazy bastard!

1306
01:03:10,354 --> 01:03:12,154
<i>Caramba!</i> Where is she?

1307
01:03:12,189 --> 01:03:14,022
- Where is my wife?
- [chatter]

1308
01:03:14,057 --> 01:03:16,024
If she does not come out,
I will shoot!

1309
01:03:16,059 --> 01:03:17,025
[screaming]

1310
01:03:17,060 --> 01:03:18,660
<i>Nombre de Diós.</i>

1311
01:03:18,695 --> 01:03:21,630
<i>Caramba!
Hasta la muerte!</i>

1312
01:03:21,665 --> 01:03:23,064
[gunshot]

1313
01:03:31,642 --> 01:03:33,642
[garbled]
Oh, where's my roof?

1314
01:03:34,711 --> 01:03:36,244
[mumbling]

1315
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:37,479
Carlos: Where are they?

1316
01:03:37,514 --> 01:03:39,781
- <i>¡Hasta la muerte!</i>
- Oh!

1317
01:03:39,817 --> 01:03:43,485
Madame de Castilian.
Oh, no.

1318
01:03:45,556 --> 01:03:47,722
Carlos:
I kill her! Where is she?

1319
01:03:47,758 --> 01:03:49,724
Ohh! Oh, save me!

1320
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:50,859
Save me!

1321
01:03:50,894 --> 01:03:52,294
You're strong. You're good.

1322
01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:53,929
You can save me.

1323
01:03:53,964 --> 01:03:54,930
Can I?

1324
01:03:54,965 --> 01:03:57,599
Hide me. Please hide me!

1325
01:03:57,634 --> 01:03:58,934
It's a pleasure.

1326
01:04:03,473 --> 01:04:04,472
Ohh.

1327
01:04:06,610 --> 01:04:07,742
[gunshot]

1328
01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:10,378
[chatter]

1329
01:04:10,414 --> 01:04:11,546
[Woman screams]

1330
01:04:13,817 --> 01:04:16,184
What is this?
I demand an explanation.

1331
01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:17,853
It is impossible
to have a quiet picnic.

1332
01:04:17,888 --> 01:04:18,954
What's happening?

1333
01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:20,889
There's too much noise around here.

1334
01:04:20,924 --> 01:04:22,257
We must be on fire.

1335
01:04:22,292 --> 01:04:23,992
- Fire!
- Fire?

1336
01:04:24,027 --> 01:04:26,228
- [shouting]
- What are they doing?

1337
01:04:26,263 --> 01:04:27,729
Ohh!

1338
01:04:28,799 --> 01:04:32,334
Police! Send
for the fire brigade!

1339
01:04:32,369 --> 01:04:34,369
Fire brigade?
The fire brigade!

1340
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:37,505
[horn honking]

1341
01:04:59,463 --> 01:05:00,762
[no audible dialogue]

1342
01:05:05,035 --> 01:05:06,434
Where is my wife?

1343
01:05:09,273 --> 01:05:10,472
Let me in!

1344
01:05:10,507 --> 01:05:11,873
<i>Hasta la muerte!</i>

1345
01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:13,141
Oh, dear.

1346
01:05:13,176 --> 01:05:15,277
Let me in.
<i>Hasta la muerte.</i>

1347
01:05:15,312 --> 01:05:16,278
No.

1348
01:05:16,313 --> 01:05:17,946
Let me in!

1349
01:05:17,981 --> 01:05:21,950
You have exactly three
seconds to surrender!

1350
01:05:21,985 --> 01:05:23,485
- 1!
- 1.

1351
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:25,120
- 2!
- 2.

1352
01:05:29,126 --> 01:05:31,059
3! Aah!

1353
01:05:31,094 --> 01:05:32,560
[clatter]

1354
01:05:34,031 --> 01:05:35,030
Give me my wife.

1355
01:05:35,065 --> 01:05:38,199
[speaking incomprehensibly]

1356
01:05:38,235 --> 01:05:39,968
- Give her to me.
- [whimpering]

1357
01:05:40,003 --> 01:05:42,570
I am a perfect shot. Look.

1358
01:05:42,606 --> 01:05:44,272
Every one a bull's eyes.

1359
01:05:45,509 --> 01:05:47,342
- Where are you going?
- I don't know, sir!

1360
01:05:47,377 --> 01:05:49,244
You think you can hide from me?

1361
01:05:50,314 --> 01:05:52,180
- [gasp]
- My wife.

1362
01:05:52,215 --> 01:05:53,448
My husband.

1363
01:05:53,483 --> 01:05:55,550
With Chandebisse.

1364
01:05:55,585 --> 01:05:57,786
The moment of truth.

1365
01:05:57,821 --> 01:05:58,820
[glass breaks]

1366
01:06:04,661 --> 01:06:06,928
[coughing]

1367
01:06:13,170 --> 01:06:15,337
We're going back for our supper!

1368
01:06:15,372 --> 01:06:16,705
There's no cause for alarm.

1369
01:06:16,740 --> 01:06:18,473
[shouting]

1370
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:38,927
Poche:
Who was that horrible
savage chasing you?

1371
01:06:38,962 --> 01:06:40,395
- Anyone you know?
- Anyone I know?

1372
01:06:40,430 --> 01:06:42,464
He's my husband, of course.

1373
01:06:42,499 --> 01:06:44,132
Are you feeling quite well?

1374
01:06:44,167 --> 01:06:46,034
Where are you going,
my little tomato?

1375
01:06:48,205 --> 01:06:49,371
God knows.

1376
01:06:49,406 --> 01:06:50,638
Let's go and have a drink,

1377
01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,273
see the can-can girls
wiggling their bottoms,

1378
01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:53,842
have a little squeeze
under the table.

1379
01:06:53,877 --> 01:06:56,444
What are you talking about?

1380
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:59,280
You know what I'm talking about.

1381
01:06:59,316 --> 01:07:01,016
You said yourself.

1382
01:07:01,051 --> 01:07:02,317
Gabrielle wouldn't like it.

1383
01:07:03,353 --> 01:07:04,452
[gasp]

1384
01:07:07,357 --> 01:07:08,590
Rue Vandrezanne.

1385
01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,028
I wasn't inviting Gabrielle,
whoever she might be.

1386
01:07:25,675 --> 01:07:28,710
- Lieutenant, please.
- Ladies and gentlemen,

1387
01:07:28,745 --> 01:07:31,079
there's no cause for alarm.

1388
01:07:31,114 --> 01:07:33,048
Please return to bed.

1389
01:07:39,523 --> 01:07:40,488
Chandebisse!

1390
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:41,689
Oh, bugger.

1391
01:07:42,993 --> 01:07:45,727
Disguise does not deceive me!

1392
01:07:45,762 --> 01:07:47,729
Say your prayers!

1393
01:07:50,267 --> 01:07:51,366
[gunshot]

1394
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:07,248
[crash]

1395
01:08:08,485 --> 01:08:09,751
Chandebisse!

1396
01:08:27,337 --> 01:08:28,403
[door closes]

1397
01:08:46,523 --> 01:08:48,723
M. Clement, if I
give you 5 francs,

1398
01:08:48,758 --> 01:08:50,992
- will you save my life?
- Yes.

1399
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:53,428
Hurry.

1400
01:08:59,836 --> 01:09:02,203
Quick. Set the table,
uh, for you and me.

1401
01:09:02,239 --> 01:09:03,605
Plates, glasses,

1402
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:04,873
everything for a meal.

1403
01:09:35,605 --> 01:09:36,971
Quick, start eating.

1404
01:09:41,411 --> 01:09:43,645
What were you doing
at the Hotel Coq d'Or?

1405
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,613
What on earth are you
talking about?

1406
01:09:45,649 --> 01:09:47,815
A little more wine,
M. Clement?

1407
01:09:47,851 --> 01:09:50,351
I saw you there with my own eyes.

1408
01:09:50,387 --> 01:09:51,586
What does that prove?

1409
01:09:51,621 --> 01:09:53,555
Less than an hour ago, half naked

1410
01:09:53,590 --> 01:09:55,557
and all wrapped around
by an Oriental.

1411
01:09:55,592 --> 01:09:57,091
Oh, that's ridiculous.

1412
01:09:57,127 --> 01:09:58,893
I can't even speak Oriental.

1413
01:09:58,929 --> 01:10:01,629
Oh. Very convincing.
Now, certain things

1414
01:10:01,665 --> 01:10:03,264
are beyond the barriers
of language.

1415
01:10:03,300 --> 01:10:05,266
I saw you nose-to-nose

1416
01:10:05,302 --> 01:10:07,035
with that slant-eyed
Casanova.

1417
01:10:07,070 --> 01:10:08,603
You must have been dreaming.

1418
01:10:08,638 --> 01:10:09,604
I? Ho ho ho!

1419
01:10:09,639 --> 01:10:10,939
I was here all the afternoon

1420
01:10:10,974 --> 01:10:13,541
with M. Clement.
Wasn't I, M. Clement?

1421
01:10:13,577 --> 01:10:17,178
All afternoon,
polishing the silver.

1422
01:10:17,214 --> 01:10:20,882
What fools jealousy can make of us.

1423
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:24,452
[chuckle]

1424
01:10:28,625 --> 01:10:29,657
Ohh.

1425
01:10:32,629 --> 01:10:34,562
Well, uh, I think I'll be off.

1426
01:10:34,598 --> 01:10:36,631
- Oh, no, you won't.
- Why?

1427
01:10:36,666 --> 01:10:38,967
How do we know
what Victor's
going to do next?

1428
01:10:39,002 --> 01:10:40,168
You may not have noticed,

1429
01:10:40,203 --> 01:10:42,036
but the last time we met,
he tried to strangle you.

1430
01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:44,539
Perhaps he's developed
a taste for it.

1431
01:10:44,574 --> 01:10:47,208
Men are all the same:

1432
01:10:47,244 --> 01:10:49,510
Ready for anything
except responsibility.

1433
01:10:49,546 --> 01:10:51,012
Responsibility for what?

1434
01:10:51,047 --> 01:10:52,480
Uh, nothing happened.

1435
01:10:52,515 --> 01:10:54,515
It's not your fault
that nothing happened.

1436
01:10:54,551 --> 01:10:56,384
And Victor doesn't know
that nothing happened.

1437
01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:57,852
And unless he thinks
whatever he thinks,

1438
01:10:57,887 --> 01:10:59,520
why do you think he's so angry?

1439
01:11:07,998 --> 01:11:10,198
When he came rolling in
on us the first time,

1440
01:11:10,233 --> 01:11:12,734
he really seems
quite pleased to see us.

1441
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:14,802
He even kissed us.

1442
01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:16,904
That's true.

1443
01:11:16,940 --> 01:11:18,072
[bell rings]

1444
01:11:20,210 --> 01:11:21,309
What's that?

1445
01:11:21,344 --> 01:11:22,677
It sounded like a door bell.

1446
01:11:22,712 --> 01:11:24,912
- Who could it be?
- God knows.

1447
01:11:24,948 --> 01:11:27,348
Cheer up. Perhaps
it's the fishmonger.

1448
01:11:27,384 --> 01:11:28,483
What did you say?

1449
01:11:28,518 --> 01:11:30,084
I said perhaps it's the fishmonger.

1450
01:11:30,120 --> 01:11:31,686
That's what I thought you said.

1451
01:11:33,690 --> 01:11:35,056
Madame de Castilian.

1452
01:11:35,091 --> 01:11:37,759
Oh, you've got to hide me.

1453
01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:39,894
He'll kill me.
I swear he'll kill me.

1454
01:11:39,929 --> 01:11:42,263
- Who will?
- My husband, of course.

1455
01:11:42,299 --> 01:11:44,699
Why can't he stick
to fighting bulls?

1456
01:11:44,734 --> 01:11:46,367
At least they're his own size.

1457
01:11:46,403 --> 01:11:49,070
He chased me and Henri
with a revolver.

1458
01:11:49,105 --> 01:11:51,072
Would it be awfully
inquisitive to ask why?

1459
01:11:51,107 --> 01:11:53,908
You mean he was
hunting you as well?

1460
01:11:53,943 --> 01:11:55,843
Before we'd even been introduced.

1461
01:11:55,879 --> 01:11:58,880
Oh. I'm not safe.

1462
01:11:58,915 --> 01:12:02,150
Luckily, your husband
helped me to escape.

1463
01:12:02,185 --> 01:12:03,818
He frightened me a bit, too.

1464
01:12:03,853 --> 01:12:04,852
My husband?

1465
01:12:04,888 --> 01:12:06,821
I mean he talked quite
reasonably at first,

1466
01:12:06,856 --> 01:12:08,556
and then my husband was after us.

1467
01:12:08,591 --> 01:12:10,858
We tumbled down the stairs,
got out into the street,

1468
01:12:10,894 --> 01:12:13,061
and then he started
looking most peculiar.

1469
01:12:13,096 --> 01:12:16,564
And he said, "Who was that
horrible, horrible savage?

1470
01:12:16,599 --> 01:12:18,533
Anyone you know?"
"Anyone I know?" I said.

1471
01:12:18,568 --> 01:12:21,002
"He's my husband, of course.
You know as well as I do."

1472
01:12:21,037 --> 01:12:22,437
And then Victor...

1473
01:12:22,472 --> 01:12:25,506
Victor asked me to go
and see the can-can girls.

1474
01:12:25,542 --> 01:12:26,507
For what?

1475
01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:28,209
Wiggling their little...

1476
01:12:28,244 --> 01:12:29,877
bottoms.

1477
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:36,551
He suggested a nice
squeeze under the table.

1478
01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:37,985
Victor?

1479
01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:40,588
I said, "Gabrielle
wouldn't like it."

1480
01:12:40,623 --> 01:12:42,023
You were perfectly right.

1481
01:12:42,058 --> 01:12:43,758
[door bell rings]

1482
01:12:43,793 --> 01:12:45,259
Somebody rang.

1483
01:12:45,295 --> 01:12:47,428
Probably means there's
someone at the door again.

1484
01:12:47,464 --> 01:12:49,797
- My husband.
- Perhaps it's Victor.

1485
01:12:49,833 --> 01:12:51,132
No. He has his key.

1486
01:12:51,167 --> 01:12:52,333
That's true.

1487
01:12:52,369 --> 01:12:53,768
I remember one night

1488
01:12:53,803 --> 01:12:55,470
when Victor forgot his key.

1489
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:57,872
It was a cold, bitter night.

1490
01:12:57,907 --> 01:12:59,440
The snow was coming down...

1491
01:12:59,476 --> 01:13:02,477
This is hardly the moment
for your anecdotes.

1492
01:13:02,512 --> 01:13:03,711
Oh.

1493
01:13:03,747 --> 01:13:05,213
Uh, M. Chandebisse.

1494
01:13:05,248 --> 01:13:06,347
Huh?

1495
01:13:06,383 --> 01:13:07,615
I want to see
M. Chandebisse.

1496
01:13:07,650 --> 01:13:09,150
Oh. [Laughing]
Very funny of you, sir.

1497
01:13:09,185 --> 01:13:10,651
You do like your little joke, sir.

1498
01:13:10,687 --> 01:13:11,886
It's about my uniform.

1499
01:13:11,921 --> 01:13:13,788
Oh, absolutely killing, sir.

1500
01:13:13,823 --> 01:13:15,723
Madame's upstairs, monsieur.

1501
01:13:15,759 --> 01:13:16,858
I'll wait.

1502
01:13:17,927 --> 01:13:19,427
You'll what, monsieur?

1503
01:13:19,462 --> 01:13:20,862
I'll wait.

1504
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:22,864
Oh, dear me.

1505
01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:24,866
Yes, monsieur.
I'll tell Madame.

1506
01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:27,835
I'm sure she'll find it
very humorous.

1507
01:13:41,818 --> 01:13:43,484
Madame... Oh, dear.

1508
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:44,585
Madame.

1509
01:13:44,621 --> 01:13:46,354
What is it?

1510
01:13:46,389 --> 01:13:48,356
The master's downstairs.

1511
01:13:48,391 --> 01:13:49,991
Well?

1512
01:13:50,026 --> 01:13:51,926
He's waiting.

1513
01:13:51,961 --> 01:13:53,161
Waiting?

1514
01:13:53,196 --> 01:13:54,328
Hmm.

1515
01:14:03,406 --> 01:14:05,473
What are you doing down there?

1516
01:14:05,508 --> 01:14:07,008
[hiccup]

1517
01:14:07,043 --> 01:14:08,075
Pardon me?

1518
01:14:08,111 --> 01:14:10,178
Waiting like a tradesman.

1519
01:14:10,213 --> 01:14:11,746
Oh, do come up.

1520
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:19,487
Very well, Madame.

1521
01:14:21,524 --> 01:14:22,990
Madame?

1522
01:14:26,696 --> 01:14:28,329
Ooh. I remember you.

1523
01:14:28,364 --> 01:14:29,897
Well, I should hope so.

1524
01:14:29,933 --> 01:14:32,133
I'm waiting
for M. Chandebisse.

1525
01:14:32,168 --> 01:14:34,435
Oh, my God. What's
the matter with him?

1526
01:14:35,872 --> 01:14:37,438
I remember you, too.

1527
01:14:37,474 --> 01:14:38,606
Yes, monsieur.

1528
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,675
You're the poor fellow
with the wife.

1529
01:14:40,710 --> 01:14:42,443
Yes, monsieur.

1530
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:45,580
Oh, you're
the one that gives
all the lovely kisses.

1531
01:14:45,615 --> 01:14:47,448
You all right, my darling?

1532
01:14:51,087 --> 01:14:52,653
Steady now, old fellow.

1533
01:14:52,689 --> 01:14:55,857
Oh. The fancy man.

1534
01:14:57,060 --> 01:14:58,092
How are you, handsome?

1535
01:14:58,127 --> 01:15:00,928
Now, then, take it easy,
Victor Emanuel.

1536
01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:05,600
Oh, no, no, no.
It's Poche. Poche.

1537
01:15:05,635 --> 01:15:09,136
Poche? What does he
mean, Poche?

1538
01:15:10,874 --> 01:15:13,007
Oh, ho ho.

1539
01:15:13,042 --> 01:15:14,141
You, too.

1540
01:15:14,177 --> 01:15:17,144
How about another little squeeze?

1541
01:15:19,082 --> 01:15:21,215
What did I tell you?

1542
01:15:21,251 --> 01:15:24,452
All you birds together
in the same nest.

1543
01:15:24,487 --> 01:15:25,453
[chuckling]

1544
01:15:25,488 --> 01:15:26,954
Highly comical.

1545
01:15:27,991 --> 01:15:28,956
Poor fellow.

1546
01:15:28,992 --> 01:15:30,491
Is there anything wrong?

1547
01:15:30,527 --> 01:15:32,093
- Oh, no, no.
- Nothing at all.

1548
01:15:32,128 --> 01:15:33,227
Nothing at all.

1549
01:15:34,797 --> 01:15:36,297
Oh, you're not a bad family.

1550
01:15:36,332 --> 01:15:38,032
Just a little simple.

1551
01:15:42,572 --> 01:15:44,372
Madame, shall I send
for the doctor?

1552
01:15:44,407 --> 01:15:45,406
Yes, please do.

1553
01:15:45,441 --> 01:15:46,440
You're off?

1554
01:15:46,476 --> 01:15:47,475
Excuse me, monsieur.

1555
01:15:47,510 --> 01:15:49,744
Don't forget to tell
M. Chandebisse.

1556
01:15:49,779 --> 01:15:51,412
Yes, of course, monsieur.

1557
01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:55,049
Of course I will.

1558
01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:57,218
Hear that?

1559
01:15:58,555 --> 01:16:01,822
You see, my uniform was on the peg,

1560
01:16:01,858 --> 01:16:02,857
and then it...

1561
01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:05,760
We have had quite enough of this.

1562
01:16:05,795 --> 01:16:08,062
I just want to see
M. Chandebisse.

1563
01:16:08,097 --> 01:16:10,765
If you're feeling ill,
you have only to say so,

1564
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,433
and we shall have you
taken care of.

1565
01:16:12,468 --> 01:16:13,968
If it's some sort of game,

1566
01:16:14,003 --> 01:16:16,504
then it's very, very silly of you.

1567
01:16:16,539 --> 01:16:18,239
- Me?
- Yes, you.

1568
01:16:18,274 --> 01:16:20,708
At the hotel, you behaved
quite stupidly.

1569
01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:22,209
When confronted with the evidence,

1570
01:16:22,245 --> 01:16:23,878
you took us in your arms
and kissed us.

1571
01:16:23,913 --> 01:16:26,013
Ten minutes later,
you tried to strangle Henri.

1572
01:16:26,049 --> 01:16:27,081
[hiccup]

1573
01:16:27,116 --> 01:16:28,849
Did I strangle you?

1574
01:16:28,885 --> 01:16:30,484
Yes, I'm afraid you did.

1575
01:16:30,520 --> 01:16:32,553
Now, do you believe us or not?

1576
01:16:32,589 --> 01:16:34,689
Yes, of course I believe you.

1577
01:16:34,724 --> 01:16:39,126
Good. Now, let's
just have one big kiss

1578
01:16:39,162 --> 01:16:40,761
and never mention it again.

1579
01:16:46,402 --> 01:16:47,935
Why stop at one?

1580
01:16:51,808 --> 01:16:53,240
Ahh.

1581
01:16:53,276 --> 01:16:55,509
Oh, just smell that.

1582
01:16:55,545 --> 01:16:57,144
Would you like a little kiss, too?

1583
01:16:57,180 --> 01:16:58,145
[gasp]

1584
01:16:58,181 --> 01:16:59,280
Oh, my God.

1585
01:16:59,315 --> 01:17:02,049
It must have been a terrible
year for vermouth.

1586
01:17:07,657 --> 01:17:10,324
I knew there was something
distinctly odd about him.

1587
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:12,126
You can't get near the poor fellow.

1588
01:17:12,161 --> 01:17:13,728
A joke's a joke,

1589
01:17:13,763 --> 01:17:15,663
but to have come home
drunk as well.

1590
01:17:20,470 --> 01:17:23,137
First a fire, now illness.

1591
01:17:23,172 --> 01:17:25,473
Can't a doctor
have any private life?

1592
01:17:25,508 --> 01:17:27,708
My poor master's in here, monsieur.

1593
01:17:29,445 --> 01:17:31,679
Oh, thank God you've come.

1594
01:17:31,714 --> 01:17:33,481
M. Chandebisse,

1595
01:17:33,516 --> 01:17:35,916
I want my uniform.

1596
01:17:35,952 --> 01:17:39,186
You...
You want your uniform?

1597
01:17:39,222 --> 01:17:40,721
Yes, I want my uniform!

1598
01:17:40,757 --> 01:17:41,956
Victor Emanuel...

1599
01:17:41,991 --> 01:17:43,524
No, no, no. Poche. Poche.

1600
01:17:43,559 --> 01:17:45,059
Whew. Oh, my God,
it's strong.

1601
01:17:45,094 --> 01:17:46,594
Who are you?

1602
01:17:46,629 --> 01:17:48,663
Who the hell are you?

1603
01:17:48,698 --> 01:17:49,964
No doubt he's undergoing

1604
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,832
a slight personality recession.

1605
01:17:51,868 --> 01:17:53,734
You know me, don't you?

1606
01:17:53,770 --> 01:17:55,970
The old medicine man comes 'round

1607
01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:57,738
when we have a touch
of collywobbles.

1608
01:17:57,774 --> 01:17:58,839
Don't hold my hand.

1609
01:17:58,875 --> 01:18:00,007
Pure friendship, I assure you.

1610
01:18:00,043 --> 01:18:01,409
I want to see
M. Chandebisse,

1611
01:18:01,444 --> 01:18:02,443
and I won't budge till he comes!

1612
01:18:02,478 --> 01:18:04,078
We are trying to help you.

1613
01:18:04,113 --> 01:18:05,312
Stop making jokes.

1614
01:18:05,348 --> 01:18:06,814
Oh, piss off.

1615
01:18:06,849 --> 01:18:08,149
Take no notice.

1616
01:18:10,553 --> 01:18:11,752
It's all very well for him

1617
01:18:11,788 --> 01:18:12,820
to have a personality recession,

1618
01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:15,122
but to ask me to...
Oh, no.

1619
01:18:18,661 --> 01:18:20,161
I want a drink.

1620
01:18:20,196 --> 01:18:21,762
Something to clear away the fumes.

1621
01:18:21,798 --> 01:18:22,863
Yes, exactly.

1622
01:18:25,168 --> 01:18:26,434
Have you any ammonia?

1623
01:18:26,469 --> 01:18:28,202
- In my pantry, monsieur.
- I'll get it.

1624
01:18:28,237 --> 01:18:30,071
Now, Charles is going
to settle you down,

1625
01:18:30,106 --> 01:18:31,906
and then we'll have
a nice strong drink.

1626
01:18:31,941 --> 01:18:33,174
- Ah!
- Come along, monsieur.

1627
01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:34,842
We'll put on your nice
new dressing gown

1628
01:18:34,877 --> 01:18:36,510
and have a good lie-down.

1629
01:18:36,546 --> 01:18:38,946
You're a very good man.

1630
01:18:38,981 --> 01:18:41,282
It's too bad you married a tart.

1631
01:18:45,688 --> 01:18:49,323
[speaking incomprehensibly]

1632
01:18:49,358 --> 01:18:50,958
Don't talk so fast.

1633
01:18:50,993 --> 01:18:52,059
[garbled] If you knew...

1634
01:18:52,095 --> 01:18:53,194
Put your palate in.

1635
01:18:53,229 --> 01:18:54,628
I lost my palate.

1636
01:18:54,664 --> 01:18:56,030
You've lost your palate?

1637
01:18:56,065 --> 01:18:58,966
[garbled] Yes.
It's been a nightmare.

1638
01:18:59,001 --> 01:19:01,268
I bumped into Gabrielle
and M. Tournel

1639
01:19:01,304 --> 01:19:02,770
and Uncle Victor... ho ho...

1640
01:19:02,805 --> 01:19:05,172
and m. De Castilian
with a pistol... bang bang.

1641
01:19:05,208 --> 01:19:06,907
Later. There's no time
for that now.

1642
01:19:06,943 --> 01:19:08,109
Why? What's the matter?

1643
01:19:08,144 --> 01:19:09,510
Well, your uncle, he's upstairs.

1644
01:19:09,545 --> 01:19:10,711
He's not quite himself today.

1645
01:19:10,747 --> 01:19:12,646
[mumbling]

1646
01:19:12,682 --> 01:19:15,349
Whoa, there. Someone
promised me a drink.

1647
01:19:15,384 --> 01:19:18,152
Oh, you got here,
too, from the Coq d'Or.

1648
01:19:18,187 --> 01:19:21,322
[speaking incomprehensibly]

1649
01:19:23,126 --> 01:19:24,625
You just swallowed your gullet?

1650
01:19:24,660 --> 01:19:26,527
[speaking incomprehensibly]

1651
01:19:28,998 --> 01:19:31,098
Oh, I don't understand...
Get me a drink.

1652
01:19:31,134 --> 01:19:32,833
You can handle that.
There's a good boy.

1653
01:19:33,903 --> 01:19:35,970
[giggling]

1654
01:19:38,040 --> 01:19:39,740
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1655
01:19:39,776 --> 01:19:41,308
What's the matter, Pierre?

1656
01:19:41,344 --> 01:19:43,477
Uh, there...

1657
01:19:43,513 --> 01:19:45,312
and there.

1658
01:19:45,348 --> 01:19:48,015
[garbled]
I'm losing my reason.

1659
01:19:48,050 --> 01:19:50,684
I've gone mad, mad, mad.

1660
01:19:50,720 --> 01:19:53,621
[insane laughter]

1661
01:19:53,656 --> 01:19:54,889
Never mind.

1662
01:20:09,238 --> 01:20:10,871
I crept through
the streets of Paris

1663
01:20:10,907 --> 01:20:12,873
like a deserter
from the foreign legion.

1664
01:20:14,911 --> 01:20:15,976
Oh, Charles.

1665
01:20:16,012 --> 01:20:19,113
Oh, monsieur, you recognized me.

1666
01:20:19,148 --> 01:20:21,315
Well, aren't I in the habit
of recognizing you?

1667
01:20:21,350 --> 01:20:24,185
But, monsieur,
you're not wearing your
lovely dressing gown.

1668
01:20:24,220 --> 01:20:26,220
Of course I'm not wearing
my lovely dressing gown.

1669
01:20:26,255 --> 01:20:28,756
I haven't worn my lovely
dressing gown since breakfast.

1670
01:20:28,791 --> 01:20:30,191
Have you been drinking?

1671
01:20:30,226 --> 01:20:32,293
Oh, no, monsieur.

1672
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:34,495
Oh, well, get me another jacket.

1673
01:20:34,530 --> 01:20:35,596
Yes, monsieur.

1674
01:20:35,631 --> 01:20:36,697
Oh, what a day.

1675
01:20:36,732 --> 01:20:38,098
Jumped on by a Jap,

1676
01:20:38,134 --> 01:20:40,000
almost murdered by a maniac,

1677
01:20:40,036 --> 01:20:41,969
Shot at by a terrible
South American,

1678
01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:44,471
jumping out of windows.

1679
01:20:44,507 --> 01:20:46,340
Ohh. Frightening.

1680
01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:48,342
Landing in other people's kitchens.

1681
01:20:49,512 --> 01:20:50,911
Anonymous letters.

1682
01:20:50,947 --> 01:20:52,179
Talking to himself now.

1683
01:20:52,215 --> 01:20:54,281
He's got it very badly.

1684
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:56,283
What's he got very badly?

1685
01:20:56,319 --> 01:20:58,085
Whatever it is that he's got.

1686
01:20:58,120 --> 01:20:59,186
Oh.

1687
01:20:59,222 --> 01:21:00,821
And my wife leaping into bed

1688
01:21:00,857 --> 01:21:02,122
with that idiot Henri Tournel.

1689
01:21:02,158 --> 01:21:05,025
I think he's talking about me now.

1690
01:21:11,567 --> 01:21:13,500
Aah! You dirty bed leaper!

1691
01:21:13,536 --> 01:21:14,702
- Out of my house!
- Victor!

1692
01:21:14,737 --> 01:21:15,803
Out of my house, too.

1693
01:21:15,838 --> 01:21:17,004
- M. Chandebisse...
- Out of my...

1694
01:21:17,039 --> 01:21:18,005
No, you can stay.

1695
01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:19,240
But we explained it all...

1696
01:21:19,275 --> 01:21:20,908
If you had, I wouldn't
have believed it.

1697
01:21:20,943 --> 01:21:22,376
We told you it was quite innocent.

1698
01:21:22,411 --> 01:21:24,645
Yes, tried to find a nice
quiet place to play dominos.

1699
01:21:24,680 --> 01:21:25,846
- Out of my house!
- Aah!

1700
01:21:25,882 --> 01:21:27,181
- Here's your drink, Victor.
- Why?

1701
01:21:27,216 --> 01:21:29,383
- It'll clear your head.
- Ohh!

1702
01:21:38,361 --> 01:21:40,261
It has a name engraved on it:

1703
01:21:40,296 --> 01:21:43,530
M. Pierre Chandebisse,
3 Boulevard Mademoiselle.

1704
01:21:43,566 --> 01:21:44,765
Poche!

1705
01:21:44,800 --> 01:21:46,033
If that was a joke,

1706
01:21:46,068 --> 01:21:47,635
it was in the worst possible taste.

1707
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:49,003
Now you've wasted it.

1708
01:21:49,038 --> 01:21:50,638
Get out of my house!

1709
01:21:55,044 --> 01:21:57,878
I'll get you, you horrible man.

1710
01:21:57,914 --> 01:21:59,546
Oh, afternoon, Doctor.

1711
01:21:59,582 --> 01:22:00,581
Yes.

1712
01:22:09,926 --> 01:22:13,560
Oh, my God, the maniac,
in my house.

1713
01:22:13,596 --> 01:22:16,230
You'll never learn, will you?

1714
01:22:16,265 --> 01:22:19,166
Spit in the eye of
a superior officer,
would you?

1715
01:22:19,201 --> 01:22:20,367
Get out of my house!

1716
01:22:20,403 --> 01:22:24,204
Desert your post,
lost your uniform again,

1717
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:26,373
wander off into
other people's houses.

1718
01:22:26,409 --> 01:22:27,775
Help! Help!

1719
01:22:28,778 --> 01:22:30,377
- Help!
- Stop there, Poche!

1720
01:22:30,413 --> 01:22:31,378
The maniac!

1721
01:22:31,414 --> 01:22:32,446
[shouting]

1722
01:22:32,481 --> 01:22:33,681
Help!

1723
01:22:33,716 --> 01:22:35,049
Poche!

1724
01:22:35,084 --> 01:22:36,383
Stop, Poche!

1725
01:22:38,621 --> 01:22:40,321
Poche! Come back!

1726
01:22:40,356 --> 01:22:41,388
Come back!

1727
01:22:41,424 --> 01:22:44,892
Poche! Poche!

1728
01:22:44,927 --> 01:22:46,727
[shouting]

1729
01:22:49,265 --> 01:22:51,198
Come back!

1730
01:22:54,403 --> 01:22:56,103
I'll get you, Poche!

1731
01:22:57,206 --> 01:22:59,239
You come back here!

1732
01:22:59,275 --> 01:23:00,507
Poche!

1733
01:23:03,446 --> 01:23:05,112
♪ [carnival]

1734
01:23:38,214 --> 01:23:39,580
[children laughing]

1735
01:23:50,159 --> 01:23:51,291
♪

1736
01:23:59,735 --> 01:24:01,335
Chandebisse!

1737
01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:03,570
Come down, Chandebisse.

1738
01:24:05,041 --> 01:24:07,074
You think you can escape me?

1739
01:24:07,109 --> 01:24:08,809
Never.

1740
01:24:08,844 --> 01:24:11,979
I have a nose like a bloodhound.

1741
01:24:12,014 --> 01:24:13,347
Come down!

1742
01:24:15,217 --> 01:24:17,951
Or do you wish to die
up in there like a pheasant?

1743
01:24:29,999 --> 01:24:32,199
So, we meet at last.

1744
01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:34,701
Yes. How are you?

1745
01:24:35,771 --> 01:24:37,004
I am calm.

1746
01:24:37,039 --> 01:24:39,873
I shall not kill you
in hot blood now.

1747
01:24:39,909 --> 01:24:40,941
Oh, that's a...

1748
01:24:40,976 --> 01:24:42,009
The time for that is passed.

1749
01:24:42,044 --> 01:24:44,645
We shall fight a duel
like gentlemen.

1750
01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:47,314
I suppose that you are a gentleman.

1751
01:24:47,349 --> 01:24:48,682
No, no, not at all.

1752
01:24:48,717 --> 01:24:50,217
Never mind. We duel.

1753
01:24:50,252 --> 01:24:51,351
Take one.

1754
01:24:51,387 --> 01:24:52,352
Uh, no, thank you.

1755
01:24:52,388 --> 01:24:53,387
Take one!

1756
01:24:55,758 --> 01:24:56,757
You know the rules?

1757
01:24:56,792 --> 01:24:57,825
No, I have no idea.

1758
01:24:57,860 --> 01:24:59,259
This is simple, even for you.

1759
01:24:59,295 --> 01:25:01,228
Face-to-face.
About turn.

1760
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:04,098
10 paces, halt, about turn again,

1761
01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:05,532
and we each fire.

1762
01:25:05,568 --> 01:25:07,101
Well, back to back.

1763
01:25:08,938 --> 01:25:10,370
- Ready?
- No.

1764
01:25:10,406 --> 01:25:11,371
March!

1765
01:25:11,407 --> 01:25:14,074
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,

1766
01:25:14,110 --> 01:25:17,611
6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

1767
01:25:17,646 --> 01:25:19,580
Turn and fire!

1768
01:25:21,117 --> 01:25:22,683
Hold still, Chandebisse!

1769
01:25:22,718 --> 01:25:25,052
You are putting me off my shot!

1770
01:25:30,226 --> 01:25:33,026
Chandebisse! Mmm!

1771
01:25:47,143 --> 01:25:48,609
Chandebisse!

1772
01:25:49,645 --> 01:25:51,011
Chandebisse!

1773
01:25:51,046 --> 01:25:52,179
[bicycle bell rings]

1774
01:25:57,286 --> 01:25:58,552
Ohh!

1775
01:26:04,393 --> 01:26:07,294
Let me in!
Let me in!

1776
01:26:07,329 --> 01:26:09,062
[shouting]

1777
01:26:12,201 --> 01:26:13,200
Uhh.

1778
01:26:18,807 --> 01:26:21,608
I'm dead on my bed.

1779
01:26:21,644 --> 01:26:22,976
Carlos:
I will break the door!

1780
01:26:23,012 --> 01:26:24,444
- [doorknob rattling]
- Open the door!

1781
01:26:24,480 --> 01:26:26,480
I must kill you!

1782
01:26:26,515 --> 01:26:28,649
Open the door!

1783
01:26:39,628 --> 01:26:41,094
Take back your pistol.

1784
01:26:41,130 --> 01:26:42,296
Aah!

1785
01:26:42,331 --> 01:26:43,330
Uhh...

1786
01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:44,431
Oh, my God.

1787
01:26:44,466 --> 01:26:47,401
Now get up and be a man.

1788
01:26:47,436 --> 01:26:50,270
Ohh. The savage.

1789
01:26:52,474 --> 01:26:55,642
I am the moment of truth.

1790
01:26:59,448 --> 01:27:01,748
No room here for 10 paces.

1791
01:27:01,784 --> 01:27:04,384
Very well, then. In the dark.

1792
01:27:07,423 --> 01:27:10,157
We both fire on the count of 3.

1793
01:27:11,193 --> 01:27:12,759
Carlos: Ready?

1794
01:27:12,795 --> 01:27:14,528
1...

1795
01:27:14,563 --> 01:27:15,629
2...

1796
01:27:15,664 --> 01:27:17,297
3!

1797
01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:18,799
[gunshot]

1798
01:27:22,538 --> 01:27:26,673
Now I kill you.

1799
01:27:27,776 --> 01:27:29,176
Aah!

1800
01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:34,815
Poor man. He is going
to kill himself.

1801
01:27:38,754 --> 01:27:41,588
<i>Gracias a Diós,</i> he is still alive.

1802
01:27:47,463 --> 01:27:48,929
I shall kill him.

1803
01:27:50,899 --> 01:27:52,466
After a short rest.

1804
01:28:05,014 --> 01:28:07,347
Another filthy French drink.

1805
01:28:23,532 --> 01:28:24,865
♪

1806
01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:25,966
Come here!

1807
01:28:27,236 --> 01:28:29,136
Come here, everyone!

1808
01:28:29,171 --> 01:28:31,004
I want to know!

1809
01:28:35,778 --> 01:28:37,511
- ♪
- Oh!

1810
01:28:37,546 --> 01:28:39,079
What is it?
What's happened?

1811
01:28:39,114 --> 01:28:40,681
Has war broken out?

1812
01:28:40,716 --> 01:28:41,815
There's really no need

1813
01:28:41,850 --> 01:28:43,116
for you to kill anybody at all.

1814
01:28:43,152 --> 01:28:44,951
Have no fear.

1815
01:28:44,987 --> 01:28:48,288
At the moment, I am calm.

1816
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,992
I simply want to know.

1817
01:28:52,027 --> 01:28:56,129
Well, what do you want to know?

1818
01:28:56,165 --> 01:29:00,067
Why I should find the twin
of my wife's love letter

1819
01:29:00,102 --> 01:29:01,501
in your handbag.

1820
01:29:01,537 --> 01:29:06,073
Oh, well, it's really very simple.

1821
01:29:06,108 --> 01:29:08,008
That was our first attempt.

1822
01:29:08,043 --> 01:29:10,277
I wanted Suzanne
to write a love letter for me.

1823
01:29:10,312 --> 01:29:13,347
That one sounded
like something from
the bank manager.

1824
01:29:13,382 --> 01:29:15,282
To write a love letter for you?

1825
01:29:15,317 --> 01:29:18,819
Yes. Of course it was for me.

1826
01:29:18,854 --> 01:29:21,722
Oh, tell him all about it, Suzanne.

1827
01:29:21,757 --> 01:29:24,257
[speaking Spanish]

1828
01:29:28,931 --> 01:29:29,796
<i>¿Cómo?</i>

1829
01:29:29,832 --> 01:29:31,965
[speaking Spanish]

1830
01:29:37,473 --> 01:29:38,872
[speaking Spanish]

1831
01:29:38,907 --> 01:29:41,274
[speaking Spanish]

1832
01:29:56,191 --> 01:29:57,591
<i>¿Es verdad?</i>

1833
01:29:57,626 --> 01:29:59,326
<i>¿Es verdad lo que ella dice?</i>

1834
01:29:59,361 --> 01:30:02,362
Oh, yes. As<i> verdad</i> as can be.

1835
01:30:05,267 --> 01:30:06,333
Ohh!

1836
01:30:08,771 --> 01:30:09,936
Ohh!

1837
01:30:09,972 --> 01:30:13,607
How quickly people understand
each other in Spanish.

1838
01:30:14,643 --> 01:30:15,709
[door opens]

1839
01:30:17,112 --> 01:30:19,079
Something's happened.

1840
01:30:19,114 --> 01:30:20,347
I was dead on my bed,

1841
01:30:20,382 --> 01:30:22,482
and now I've gone.

1842
01:30:22,518 --> 01:30:23,850
Oh, my God!

1843
01:30:23,886 --> 01:30:24,951
Don't worry. I am calm.

1844
01:30:24,987 --> 01:30:28,355
My wife didn't write you
a love letter.

1845
01:30:28,390 --> 01:30:29,756
You did!

1846
01:30:33,061 --> 01:30:36,530
You write me that
exciting little letter?

1847
01:30:36,565 --> 01:30:40,033
Yes. We've told you
a hundred times.

1848
01:30:40,068 --> 01:30:42,202
And each time we tell you,
you kiss us,

1849
01:30:42,237 --> 01:30:44,237
but it never seems to do
any good, really.

1850
01:30:44,273 --> 01:30:47,941
I'm sorry I made you jump
out of the window.

1851
01:30:47,976 --> 01:30:50,610
You made me jump
out of that window?

1852
01:30:50,646 --> 01:30:52,245
Of course I made you.

1853
01:30:52,281 --> 01:30:54,581
You run out of there,
and you plunge.

1854
01:30:54,616 --> 01:30:56,783
No, no, no. I never
jumped out of that window.

1855
01:30:56,819 --> 01:30:58,652
If you saw me jump
out of that window,

1856
01:30:58,687 --> 01:31:01,655
it must have been, uh, me dead.

1857
01:31:01,690 --> 01:31:03,757
Good thinking.

1858
01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:06,493
What on earth is he talking about?

1859
01:31:06,528 --> 01:31:09,463
I haven't the faintest idea.

1860
01:31:09,498 --> 01:31:13,733
Madame, this person
insisted on coming up.

1861
01:31:13,769 --> 01:31:15,001
The maniac!

1862
01:31:15,037 --> 01:31:17,471
I was just walking down the street

1863
01:31:17,506 --> 01:31:19,706
when my hall porter
happened to drop on my head.

1864
01:31:19,741 --> 01:31:21,775
I can offer no explanation.

1865
01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:23,443
It would appear
he jumped through a window

1866
01:31:23,479 --> 01:31:25,212
wearing this article of clothing.

1867
01:31:25,247 --> 01:31:28,682
That is my husband's.
It's yours, dear.

1868
01:31:28,717 --> 01:31:30,150
Victor?

1869
01:31:30,185 --> 01:31:32,118
Where are you, Victor?

1870
01:31:44,066 --> 01:31:45,298
Oh, my God.

1871
01:31:45,334 --> 01:31:47,334
Poche! You dog's dinner!

1872
01:31:47,369 --> 01:31:48,835
I told you to wait outside!

1873
01:31:48,871 --> 01:31:51,071
Monsieur, you are
speaking to my husband!

1874
01:31:51,106 --> 01:31:53,240
Your husband?
That's not your husband.

1875
01:31:53,275 --> 01:31:54,641
That's Poche, my hall porter.

1876
01:31:54,676 --> 01:31:56,910
Monsieur, allow me
to know my own husband

1877
01:31:56,945 --> 01:31:58,211
when I see him.

1878
01:31:59,381 --> 01:32:01,681
Aren't you Victor
Emanuel Chandebisse?

1879
01:32:01,717 --> 01:32:02,849
Yes, of course I am.

1880
01:32:02,885 --> 01:32:05,285
I... I... I...
I'd know myself anywhere.

1881
01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:07,187
Then where's Poche?

1882
01:32:07,222 --> 01:32:08,555
[door opens]

1883
01:32:10,425 --> 01:32:11,858
Now where's my...

1884
01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:14,628
lovely uniform?

1885
01:32:27,676 --> 01:32:30,410
Where have I seen that face before?

1886
01:32:38,654 --> 01:32:39,986
But, darling,
you shouldn't have said

1887
01:32:40,022 --> 01:32:41,688
"Now we're going to be
together forever"

1888
01:32:41,723 --> 01:32:43,423
on our ninth wedding anniversary.

1889
01:32:43,458 --> 01:32:46,059
With love, there has to be
a little uncertainty.

1890
01:32:46,094 --> 01:32:48,261
I'm sorry.
I really am sorry,

1891
01:32:48,297 --> 01:32:50,597
but I really did think
you were unfaithful to me.

1892
01:32:50,632 --> 01:32:52,332
Unfaithful?
What made you think that?

1893
01:32:52,367 --> 01:32:53,433
Well, because...

1894
01:32:54,870 --> 01:32:56,536
because...

1895
01:32:59,141 --> 01:33:01,207
It put a great big flea in my ear.

1896
01:33:01,243 --> 01:33:03,176
I became horribly suspicious.

1897
01:33:03,211 --> 01:33:04,978
I'm going to kill
that suspicion tonight.

1898
01:33:05,013 --> 01:33:06,046
After the opera?

1899
01:33:06,081 --> 01:33:07,347
We're not going to the opera.

1900
01:33:10,319 --> 01:33:12,085
Champagne?

1901
01:33:12,120 --> 01:33:13,420
No.

1902
01:33:23,432 --> 01:33:29,369
♪ The lady hopes
he's in love ♪

1903
01:33:29,404 --> 01:33:33,173
♪ But if he's really in love ♪

1904
01:33:33,208 --> 01:33:35,642
♪ His love he'll prove ♪

1905
01:33:35,677 --> 01:33:41,815
♪ And he'll remove
every fear ♪

1906
01:33:41,850 --> 01:33:46,553
♪ The busy bee in her bonnet ♪

1907
01:33:46,588 --> 01:33:53,560
♪ The flea in her ear ♪